The Value of Schedules and Systems in the Home

The Value of Schedules and Systems in the Home

By Cindy Thomsen

I am a mom of 3 kids. When my kids were younger, we set up several systems to facilitate our life. I have found that having good routines in place has helped our family tremendously. 

Finding meaningful schedules and systems keeps our family household running smoothly, creates structure in our home, prevents many arguments, and gets us through daily tasks quickly and efficiently, thus leaving more time for other things. 

Creating regular and consistent schedules and systems in your home will help you feel more successful as a parent. When life gets busy, setting specific routines can help you simplify your workload and elevate your family life, allowing you to feel more control in your everyday family life.

One of my favorite systems that we have in place in our home is our afternoon schedule. When my oldest was in first grade, I really felt like we needed time to do homework, reading, and any other projects and assignments that came up. So we set up a homework area by the kitchen table. When my kids came home from school, the first thing we did was sit down and work on their homework. I made sure that my schedule was open as well so I could be there to help if needed. 

Amazingly, within a year or so, it had become such a habit for my kids that when friends would want to play with them right after school, they would tell them they could play after their homework was done. Usually, they still had time to play with friends before dinner. Here is a picture of my kids all doing their homework on the porch. Great way to enjoy the nice day!

What I have learned over the years of following this system is that as teenagers, my kids continued to follow this routine. It is such a part of them now that they still do their homework first as soon as they get home (or first thing in the morning on social distance days). Now, I don’t have to nag them or follow through on their homework, they just do it. This one simple routine has saved us so much stress and potential headaches. It had a major effect on their ability to get good grades and prioritize important things in our lives. I’ve also found that when they have a question, they could ask each other!

I also found that I have really enjoyed this special time after school with my kids. I like to call it my “golden hour” because my kids are super chatty right after they get home from school. Once we get done talking, homework is done quickly and that leaves us more time after dinner to have fun together! 

It feels like there are things that always need to be done in our home. These systems will help simplify your life! Setting up specific schedules and systems in your home will allow you to create a home environment that can flow seamlessly, elevating your time together as a family.

Photo by sofatutor on Unsplash

Tamara Berry

Tamara Berry

Tamara Berry

Tamara Berry

Tamara Jane (Lano, Hughes) Berry was born August 27, 1948 to Jane Maurer and William Lano in Port Clinton, Ohio. Tami’s father died in a tragic construction accident before her second birthday. She and her older brother, Terry, were adopted by Jane’s second husband, Bert Hughes. Bert’s employment moved them to Connecticut, Ohio, Indiana, and back to Connecticut, where Tami attended Rippowam High School. Always an overachiever, Tami skipped a grade and graduated with her older brother in 1965.

Tami finished three semesters at Ohio Wesleyan University and spent a summer in England as an au pair before marrying Richard George Berry, Jr. on August 31, 1968. Rick served in the Army and the young couple was stationed in Germany when they met missionaries from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Tami quickly converted to the Church and her testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ was her rock during the various hardships of life. Tami and Rick were sealed in the Swiss temple a year after their LDS baptism and shortly thereafter moved to the Bay Area of California, where their first child, Richard III, was born.

The Army then moved the Berrys to Indiana, where Rachel, Regan, Ranell, and Ren were born. Motherhood became and remained Tami’s true passion. When her husband left her to raise the five kids on her own, Tami persevered with valiant faith, relying on the Lord and the help of many friends. Setting an example for her children, Tami returned to college and graduated Valedictorian of Indiana University’s School of Education on Mother’s Day, 1989.

Tami’s career was serving her children and the Church, with any paying jobs clearly junior to those callings, however, a favorite saying was “anything worth doing is worth doing right.” That work ethic and her natural cheerfulness found her many regular customers through 25+ years of being a cashier, including the morning drive-thru at McDonalds (where many dogs would come visit for the treats she supplied) and later in the food court at IKEA, which she retired from in 2021.

Tami promised her daughters she would drop everything and come help if they had twins. After 32 years in Indiana, she made good on this promise by joining Regan in Utah in 2005. Rachel then had her own twins in 2008, and although Tami remained in Utah thereafter, she always considered herself a Hoosier.

During her “victory lap” stage of parenting, Tami traveled extensively, with trips to China, Egypt, Israel, Italy, and even back to Germany in 2022, along with many stateside adventures to see grandkids, family, and friends. She also had the pleasure of being an ordinance worker in the Jordan River Temple. Unfortunately, Tami’s health turned for the worse later in 2022, but she endured countless procedures with grace and her trademark smile.

Even as her body could no longer heal, Tami’s demeanor remained pleasant, comforted by her faith to be reuniting with her heavenly family, especially her brother Terry, her oldest child, Richard, and her own dear mother Jane. Tami is survived by four children: Rachel Howes, Regan (Ted) Barnes, Ranell (Brian) Williamson, and Ren (Shelley) Berry. Her greatest legacy is her twenty-two grandchildren, who will always remember their Grami Tami with love!

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Sleep – What a Wonderful Word

Sleep – What a Wonderful Word

By Alana Hutchins

Ahhhhhh, it is finally 10:00pm, and time to sleep. Isn’t this how we feel most days dragging ourselves into bed and crawling in between our nice soft covers. We look forward to drifting off peacefully into a rejuvenating slumber that oscillates between soothing dreams and deep-sleep oblivion? Or at least that’s how it would work in the ideal world. Often, the cadence of our slow breathing is interrupted by the sharp cry of an infant or the wail of an unhappy two-year-old. BAHH! Not again! I’m too tired to get out of bed, it’s your turn, honey. Alas, waking up with children is part and parcel of the whole parenting deal. Even if waking up with small things is part of the deal. It is not always ideal for getting a good night’s rest, but falling asleep and sleeping through the night is a skill that has to be learned just like any other activity of daily living. 

What about those nights when there is no baby to blame and we still sleep terribly?  When the red alarm clock taunts us from the nightstand with yet another hour lost and gone to the void of could-have-been-sleeping, when instead of dreaming we are simply lying there wishing we were sleeping. Around midnight, wishing turns to stressing and all hopes of a being chipper tomorrow evaporate all together. 

We are happier and healthier when we are well rested—that is all there is to it. Here are some reasons why:

  • Our minds are clearer, our concentration and focus better. Scientists think that REM sleep helps remove information that we don’t need, it helps to take out the mental “trash” so to speak. 
  • During deep sleep, our bodies work to repair muscle, organs, and other cells and replace chemicals that strengthen our immune systems start to circulate in our blood.
  • Sleep helps us process the day, and to sort and store memories into our long term memory banks. 
  • We heal and regenerate during sleep—and children do their best growing. 
  • Heartbeats and breathing slow down, and blood pressure decreases so there is less stress on our organs during sleep. Body temperature drops and our muscles relax.
  • A lack of sleep alters levels of cortisol, leptin, and ghrelin (hormones that regulate stress, hunger, and fat production), which could cause weight gain. 

Tips and Tricks for women who want to be pro sleepers: 

  • Be active or exercise during the day, preferably several hours before bed time, so that your body is tired enough to rest.
  • Stick to a routine with consistent bedtimes and rising times. On average adults need 79 hours of sleep per night.
  • Turn off all screens and blue lights at least an hour before bed time, preferably two. Keep your phone AWAY from the side of your bed. Dock it downstairs. This is also incredibly important for teens who tend to stay up late texting in bed. Even having blue light on in your room can keep you up at night. 
  • Pray, read, journal, or meditate before trying to go to sleep in order to help your body shift mental gears down. (Avoid reading the news or other stressful items because this might have the opposite effect.)
  • Keep your room cool and your blankets heavy. A weighted blanket may help you to settle in for the night. Being tucked in is supposed to mimic being enclosed in the womb and should have a comforting effect on your body.
  • Don’t eat right before bedtime. Bonus: This will also help prevent weight gain.
  • Try a pair of socks if your feet are cold.
  • Use a flat or minimal pillow so that your spine is aligned and your airway unobstructed. This may take some adjustment if you are used to sleeping on lots of pillows. 
  • Meditation can reduce insomnia by 50%.
  • Don’t sleep with children in the same room, if you can help it, and avoid sleeping with a baby or child in your bed. It is a habit that will be difficult to break later on when you want them out of the bedroom. 

If you are doing all of these things and still having a hard time falling asleep, you may want to try a warm drink before bed, or a natural supplement like melatonin to help you relax. 

Tips and Tricks to help children become pro sleepers:

  • Have a consistent bedtime each night that is not too late.*
  • Create a pre-bedtime routine that works for both you and your child. Our personal family routine for younger children is bath, books, brush teeth, say prayers, give hugs, sing a song, then lights out. Your routine may vary from mine, but the important thing is that you have one. Setting expectations is half the battle. 
  • If your child is having a hard time settling down, white noise may help them tune out the rest of the house. (I actually love white noise myself.)
  • No screens for at least two hours before bedtime.
  • Do not let them get in the habit of climbing into your bed for comfort. If a child is distressed at night, go to them and see what can be done.
  • Set firm expectations for getting up at night before consequences set in. “Only once” or “only to use the restroom.” Some children will get up 510 times if their parents allow it. 
  • Have a comfort item on hand—favorite stuffed animal or blanket for many children. 
  • Do not let infants and toddlers go to sleep with milk, juice, or formula. This can cause dental problems because the unswallowed milk settles onto the teeth and the bacteria convert the milk sugars into acid which eats away at the teeth. If necessary, give them water in a sippy.
  • Just like adults, children want to be tucked in, weighted down, or swaddled before bed. This gentle pressure is a signal to your brain to head off to sleep. 

Good luck, and sweet dreams!  

Groggily yours

*While there is no hard and fast rule, the general guide is toddlers need around 12 hours of sleep a night; children aged 3–6 years old need 10–12 hours; 7- to 12-year-olds need 10–11 hours; and teenagers need around 8–9 hours. You may feel cheated when your child consistently sleeps less than his peers, but the truth is, some kids just don’t need as much sleep to be healthy and feel their best during the day.

Photo by kevin liang on Unsplash

You Are Not Alone: The Power of Mom Friends

You Are Not Alone: The Power of Mom Friends

By Allison Marquina 

As moms we have long to-do lists, and because there just aren’t enough hours in the day to get everything done we have to prioritize. We prioritize the things that are important to us and the things that have to get done. These might be things such as dropping kids off to school, completing a work assignment, making sure dinner is taken care of, etc. Then there are the things that we know are important but they don’t feel urgent, a concept discussed in the book Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. These are the activities that tend to get pushed down on our to-do lists. 

One item that we moms often neglect is building relationships with other moms. Since it doesn’t have a sense of urgency, we might disregard the importance of it! Let’s consider why we need to actively combat the loneliness that can threaten our mental health. 

Other moms can provide a unique circle of support. This circle can be made up of the many different moms in our lives including: 

  • our own moms, sisters, mother or sister-in laws, 
  • moms from a church community, 
  • moms from our kids’ school or daycare
  • moms from online communities. 

Wherever our mom friends come from, the important thing is that they are women who we can have positive relationships with. 

As we build our circle of mom friends, we build the amount of support we have in raising our children. Older moms can give us welcomed guidance in navigating new phases that our children may be experiencing. Younger moms can provide unique perspectives we may benefit from. We can also reciprocate this support – especially when we see other moms in need of help. Sometimes the need may simply be knowing that we are not alone in our endeavor of being a good mom.  

For some reason, we moms are at risk of falling into the trap of comparison or competition with other moms – but we must not succumb to this! It’s okay to acknowledge different strengths and weaknesses we all have – that is what makes these relationships so special. Let’s learn from each other without being judgemental or putting each other down. When these tendencies come from our personal insecurities, it helps to remember that we also have unique qualities that other moms can benefit from.  

It may be hard to find time in our busy schedules to prioritize relationships with moms but it’s worth trying to find simple opportunities to do this. Maybe this looks like: 

  • staying off your phone and, instead, talking to the women around you when you go to the park or library
  • calling someone while you do a mindless chore like folding laundry
  • finding a positive online community and participating intentionally (this excludes numbly scrolling on social media!). 

The possibilities are endless! As you intentionally reach out, remember that the world is full of moms just trying to do their best and the journey can be so much easier for all of us as we build a positive circle of support with other moms.  

Covey, S. R. (2005). The 7 habits of highly effective people: a personal workbook. Simon & Schuster.

Momivate is putting together support groups for moms called SMILE gatherings – Join Now! 

Photo by Courtney Cook on Unsplash