Relationships

Imagine that each person you interact with is on a journey with you out on the ocean of life — you’re together on a relation-SHIP!

What’s your destination?

Who’s steering? Who’s navigating?

If neither one of you, or if you have different ideas of the destination, then you might end up ship-wrecked. Momivate wants to help you sail successfully in each relation-SHIP you embark upon as a mother. 

A good breeze is necessary for smooth sailing — and in this metaphor, that’s positive communication skills! (Like, “shoot the breeze” — get it?!) No breeze = no movement, like a ship afloat on a sea of glass, going nowhere. Stormy winds (like rudeness, gossip, yelling, shame, blame, and sharp criticism) can lead to disaster and drowning.

Using the right lights to guide you through the night is a skill to be developed! What are some enlightening resources you look to for guidance to help you navigate and avoid rocky reefs?

And then there’s the poop deck… Okay, so in reality, this has NOTHING to do with “going number two” — instead, it’s the roof of the “poop cabin” and serves as an observation deck as well. But given the opportunity to talk about poop so openly, let’s consider how useful poop can be in a metaphorical sense! If people are honest with each other, it means no one is full of poop! If an interaction occurs between people where certain elements are absorbed that nourish the relationship, but unnecessary or even potentially harmful elements are discharged and flushed away, this is similar to poop! 

Ocean currents are a natural part of how water flows — and if you understand them, you can use them to your benefit to get your relation-SHIP where you want it to go. If you try to work against them, and sometimes you might decide you need to, it requires lots of extra effort with the oars.

How to prevent scurvy (physical illness) among ye sailors? What about sea sickness — the parallel of mental illness? 

This analogy could go on and on — desert islands, notes in a bottle, life jackets, walking the plank, buoys, eye patches, cargo, whales, mermaids, and sharks. Have fun with it!

Momivate encourages mothers to see God as co-creator: God creates the child’s soul and a mother’s womb creates the child’s body. Children need their mothers to be connected to their Heavenly Father in order to nourish their souls. God wants us to seek Him and His help so that He can get His children back when their earthly lives are over. Include Him in your parenting in ways that inspire you! Pray, read scriptures, attend church, and really consider His great love and how you can love Him and His children with love that originated from Him in the beginning. Momivate embraces freedom of religion and trusts each mother to identify the right style of worship for herself and her family.

Building a strong relation-SHIP with your husband will set a tone in your home that will have countless positive impacts in teaching your children how to successfully sail on the sea of life, even when a storm comes up. Momivate provides marital counsel that has stood the test of time and is rooted in meeting one another’s needs with a selfless heart. Learning a different language can be difficult, but when you understand your fellow sailor’s native tongue, and you see his attempts to speak your language as well, your efforts to steer the relation-SHIP effectively will guide your whole family safely into port. 

Take advantage of free resources such as Utah Marriage Commission where you can sign up for weekly date ideas to be texted to you!

Discipline is the very wood that gives structure to the relation-SHIP we have with our children. Momivate teaches that, contrary to popular belief, discipline is NOT a series of punishments and consequences and walking the plank! Instead, Momivate focuses on the root of the word: disciple — we realize that our children are learning from us, following our examples, for better or for worse. As we embark on this relation-SHIP, we conscientiously adjust the sails on the constant mast of love! We try to focus on the “Jolly” part of what appears to be skulls and crossbones! We dissipate myths of sea monsters while always hoping a mermaid will appear! We shield our children from deadly siren songs and try to teach them to use a compass. We enjoy the journey with all its magnificent sunrises, sunsets, and occasional squalls. 

Sometimes we parents are led to believe that our children are gifts we give to their grandparents — adorable babies they can dote on and adore but not be responsible for! Momivate believes that, conversely, grandparents are gifts to mothers AND our children! Grandparents are loving, invested fellow sailors who can observe (from the poop deck — so we can take it or leave it!), provide an experienced perspective, and yet still allow us to be the captains as we stand confidently at the helm. Our children benefit from solid relation-SHIPS with their DNA donors, who wisely package their advice up with candy and soda. 

Momivate hereby declares an END to ALL momparisons and mompetitions! Instead, let’s join a MomUnity and S.M.I.L.E. together! 
Let’s have positive relation-SHIPS with our fellow sojourners. It might be our sisters or sisters-in-law or sisters in Christ. It might be our children’s step-mother or our step-children’s bio-mother. It might be a mother we mostly know through the internet. Let’s choose to “shoot the breeze” in a way that helps each other’s precious cargo get to shore, avoiding the rocky ridge of rudeness or the hidden reefs of gossip. We can send out lifesavers when we notice the need! We can even climb aboard and help row if necessary. We’re NOT pirates — though we might opt to wear eye-patches to blind ourselves to one another’s weaknesses.

Our children’s teachers, their pediatrician, their coaches, mentors, and babysitters — these are the “village people” who will influence our children in ways we may never fully understand or appreciate. We must choose wisely who we invite to board the relation-SHIP with our children so that we are surrounding them with positive role models, caring and careful adults whom we trust and allow our children to trust.

To read the guiding principles that Momivate teaches to help you relate with others in healthy ways, CLICK HERE!