“The homemaker has the ultimate career. All other careers exist for one purpose only—and that is to support the ultimate career.”
—C. S. Lewis
Today when this world is so often in chaos, it is critical to remember what is important and what lasts. Too often the world, in general, demeans the role of homemaker. It sends the message that being a homemaker is what you do when you aren’t smart enough, strong enough, driven enough, or educated enough, to work outside the home. And that is clearly not the truth.
Making a home is much more than cooking, cleaning, and washing—you can hire those things out, if you have enough money. But you can’t pay someone to be your child’s mother. You can hire a babysitter, even a nanny who becomes devoted to your child—but that child is still your child, and no one can love that child as you do, with love that is visceral, concrete, and unshaken.
Homemaking is two words: home + making—making an environment where the people you love are able to grow and dream and feel safe. “There’s no place like home!” “Home is where the heart is!” Homemaking is creating a haven, a breathing space, and a refuge from the world. Homemaking is helping children build relationships with family, including parents, siblings, and God.
Being a mother has challenges; it is not a job for the weak or the lazy or the selfish… But women like me who have tendencies towards those things still become mothers — and then we see the miracle of how much motherhood helps us improve when those tendencies interfere with the well-being of our children! Suddenly, selfishness evolves into selflessly getting and doing and being whatever your child needs! Laziness is converted into opportunities to cuddle and sing, read stories and rock your little one to sleep. And weakness—well, legends are told of how weak women become tigresses on behalf of their children with no advance planning — it just happens in the moment of need!
So, making a home for your children—your family—that is comforting, safe, and clean is nice, but it’s secondary to the love you have for your family. You do it because your family needs it—and hopefully they appreciate it (and learn to help)—but loving comes first. So, when you stress about how little housework (or ANY other kind of work, really) you have managed to get done because you have spent your time mothering instead, think of this charming little poem:
Cleaning and scrubbing can wait ‘til tomorrow,
For babies grow up, we’ve learned to our sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs and dust go to sleep.
I’m rocking my baby, and babies don’t keep.
Photo by Trung Nhan Tran on Unsplash