Road Trip Snack Ideas

By Cindy Guillory

If you’re like our family, summertime means plenty of road trips! And as a mom of four little ones, I have plenty of mouths to feed. I’ve realized that the key to a happy and smooth car ride is to have plenty of snacks (and a fun variety!) Sometimes when traveling we end up in rural locations with very limited options, so I like to pack healthier snacks that can sustain us if our food options are scarce.

Here are some of our families’ favorites snacks for long road trips:

  • Beef sticks
  • Trail Mix
  • Granola Bars
  • Fruit snacks
  • Protein bars 
  • Fig bars
  • Fruit bars
  • Apple sauce
  • Crackers
  • Goldfish
  • Veggie straws
  • Fruit such as clementines, grapes, etc.
  • Pretzels
  • Cereal
  • Juice boxes

We also like to pack up a variety of snacks that we use in times of desperation (mostly instances where our little ones are dying to get out of their seats, and we need to buy more time). These would include things like gummy bears, lollipops and other small (toddler safe) candies. We try to use those when we really need it, but it’s good to have them on hand when necessary. 

I hope this list is beneficial to you as you shop before your road trip! I would love to hear other snack suggestions if you have them! 

I’m just not cut out to be a mother!

I’m just not cut out to be a mother!

By Stephanie Simmons

Has this phrase ever passed through your thoughts? As the frustrations of motherhood boil up and, yet again, your kid is cutting and rude to you, it is easy for negative thoughts of failure to surface. Or perhaps you are just overwhelmed with all of the hats you wear as a mother, the endless things that need to be done. You see the friends around you, some with younger kids, some with older ones, and they seem to have it all together. Their kids seem to get along and listen to them when they are asked to do something. They respond so lovingly and patiently to their kids. The kids all seem so smart and happy, so your friends must be doing something right that you are not doing yourself. How do they do it, day in and day out? And how do they make it seem so easy? They must just be good at it and you are not. Sound familiar? Well, stop right there! We see a small snippet of the lives of the people around us and then we take that snapshot and blow it up to be the entire picture of their lives, seeing the happy and good moments, but it is not the whole picture. And we compare ourselves to that. That fiction that we think others are living and we want but do not have.

I find that some of the most important things in life are hard to obtain and maintain. They take effort and there is opposition in the pursuit. And that opposition and effort/sacrifice are exactly what is needed to help the thing be meaningful and valued. There is great opposition to motherhood. There is great sacrifice in motherhood. There needs to be great effort put forth to make families work. Some of the opposition to motherhood is external and some is internal (in our minds). 

I remember after I had a couple of kids, I was talking with another woman when she was deciding whether or not to have kids, the discussion led to pros and cons of motherhood. And I realized that if you list out on paper the contrast of pros and cons, it might not look so appealing to become a mother. There are plenty of logical reasons not to start or increase a family. But the weight of the pros to having children far outweighs the cons. If you could place a point value to the line item on your list, the points on the pro list would be greater than the points on the con list. It is important to focus on those positives and remember them often. What are your reasons for being a mother? What do you want motherhood to look like?

When I was younger, I always wanted to be a mother when I grew up. I enjoyed being around kids. I was a good babysitter. I was the fun and favorite aunt. I became a mother and assumed I would naturally just be good at it. Not so. I worked a full-time job as an accountant before I became a mother. When our first child came, I was ready to quit there and start in the part of life I had always wanted. I became a full-time mother and that is when I learned that this is not an easy role to fill! For some reason, I was not aware of how hard it actually was. I sometimes think about how, as an imperfect person with many weaknesses, I am now responsible for teaching my kids how to be better than I am. My weaknesses get thrown back in my face constantly. In fact, some weaknesses I thought I had overcome from my youth (a short temper and lack of patience being a couple), are very much still a part of me. I will be “getting my kid in trouble” for something that he saw me do… and that is frustrating for me. 

It is interesting to see the different phases in motherhood when looking back. You don’t realize them until you move into another phase. I can look back to see the things I have learned and realize I have so much more to learn. It is important to remember that you aren’t yet done being “cut out” as a mom. All of life is a process of improving, learning, and becoming. Motherhood is the same. We are mothers the moment we have children, or are responsible for the nurture and influence of a child, but we are not yet cut out, or finalized. Just because we have children doesn’t make us the finished product of a “mother.” We are still in the process of being cut out of that paper. The scissors are still moving around, creating that shape. Don’t give up, and don’t give in to those negative thoughts telling you that you can’t do this. It is a lot of sacrifice and effort, but you CAN do it! Keep trying, one snip at a time.

 

Photo by Krzysztof Maksimiuk on Unsplash

Mental Illness in Motherhood

Picture this: you’ve just gotten home from a two day hospital stay. You’re sore, exhausted, and anxious. You’ve just gotten your older kids to bed but you don’t feel any relief. You’re terrified to go to sleep because you know that means you’ll have to wake up the next day and take care of the kids. You just want to curl up in your husband’s arms and sob. You peek over at him and are filled with anger. Not at him–but at who he is holding. Your brand new baby. You need your husband right now but this baby is taking all of his attention. This baby who is going to keep you up night after night and suck up all of your time. And dang it, you feel angry. That’s when the shame hits too.

This was me the day I got home from the hospital with my third son. I had cried more times than I could count, had at least five different panic attacks, and was angry at my innocent little newborn for stealing my husband. Not to mention–I felt like a failure for not being able to breastfeed AGAIN. Of course, bottle feeding doesn’t mean you’re a failure by any means, but 48 hour postpartum Alisha was certainly not thinking very logically and I was most definitely the worst of the worst. I mean, I was so sure I’d be able to do it this time and I really wanted to!

So here I was–the worst mom with nipples as useless as her husband’s all alone with no love because it was all very obviously being sucked up by an evil (albeit super adorable) 2-day-old. Pretty sad, right? This is the part people don’t talk about. The shame. The anger. The anxiety. Of course, postpartum isn’t the same for everyone.
Now; before we dive deeper, you need to know that I–Alisha– am not a medical professional. If you have serious concerns, please consult a professional. This blog post was just written to provide awareness to certain postpartum mental illnesses and to share my experiences. Understand? Good. Let’s get to it!

March of Dimes reported in 2025 that up to 80% of women experience the “baby blues”. According to them, the baby blues start shortly after birth and typically lasts 2-3 weeks. It consists of feeling sad and can be caused by things such as hormone changes and lack of sleep (lack of sleep ALONE turns me into a monster). March of Dimes warn of signs that point to Postpartum Depression (PPD) including “feeling overpowering guilt, sadness, or panic […] scary thoughts about yourself or your baby […] [and] [doesn’t] get better after 2 weeks”.

The CDC did a study of Postpartum Depressive Symptoms (PDS) in 31 different locations and found that its prevalence was 13.2%. These are not the only mental struggles that can affect women after giving birth. There are also Postpartum Anxiety and Panic Disorders, Postpartum Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Postpartum Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, and Postpartum Psychosis.
Please do not hesitate to reach out to a medical professional if you or a loved one is experiencing symptoms of any of these illnesses. Immediate action can help save lives. You are not alone in this. You are not bad. You just need support. Please accept it.

Resources:
https://www.marchofdimes.org/find-support/topics/postpartum/baby-blues-after-pregnancy

http://dx.doi.org/10.15585/mmwr.mm6919a2

Is it perimenopause?

Spring is here! The sun is shining, the birds are singing, the bees are humming—and you’re feeling and moving like Suzy the sloth. You ask yourself, Where is my energy? There are a lot of reasons for feeling tired—anything from wacky sleep schedules to lack of motivation. Let me suggest another possibility for your decreased energy. Could it be perimenopause? Wait, what is that?

What is Perimenopause? Menopause?

Perimenopause is the transitional period before menopause. It can last from four to ten years. Some women begin noticing symptoms in their thirties but most women will start the process in their forties. Menopause occurs when a woman does not have a menstrual cycle for twelve consecutive months. Average age for menopause is fifty-one but can occur anytime between ages forty to fifty-eight. Due to medical procedures, some women may undergo menopause early; this is called induced menopause.

Symptoms
During perimenopause, ovaries are beginning to slow down, and less estrogen is produced. Eventually, the ovaries will no longer release eggs, so pregnancy will not be able to occur. This transition causes hormone fluctuations resulting in some of the following common symptoms: hot flashes, night sweats, breast tenderness, migraine headaches, difficulty concentrating, sleep challenges, mood swings, anxiety, menstrual cycle changes, weight gain, loss of libido, etc. Some uncommon symptoms include increased body odor, hair loss, vision changes, cold flashes, increased allergies, increased facial hair. Symptoms may continue until the menopause stage for some women. Due to low estrogen levels during breastfeeding, mothers may feel symptoms that are menopausal-like. Yet, it is possible for a breastfeeding mother to experience perimenopause.

What can you do?
Educate yourself prior to seeking assistance from a medical professional. It is important to be an active participant in your healthcare, and not a spectator. Create a partnership with your chosen medical professional to explore possible treatment plans to address your symptoms.

Prioritize sleep. Create a healthy sleep environment by minimizing or stopping the use of electronics two hours before bedtime.

Know common and not so common symptoms of perimenopause. Not all women experience the same symptoms.

Know your family reproductive history. When did your mother and grandmother experience perimenopause or menopause? You may or may not follow the same pattern.
Improve your nutrition and increase physical activity. It is important to provide your body with essential nutrients during this time of change to reduce chronic disease risk. Moving a little bit everyday helps with potential weight gain and improves your mood.

Seek support from loved ones, a support group or even professional counseling if necessary. You are not alone and it is definitely okay to create the space to process your feelings.

Perimenopause and menopause are natural processes that occur for women and should not be feared. Empower yourselves with information and support so you can become a positive example to other women.

Resources:
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/perimenopause/symptoms-causes/syc-20354666

https://www.womenshealth.gov/menopause 

A Good Catch!

A Good Catch!

A Good Catch!

By Annette T. Durfee

If you look for the good, you surely will find it.
Is that really true? And does it apply to life with our families? I believe it is and it does. But sometimes it is hard to see the good in people. Looking for the good requires that we assume the best in our children and create an atmosphere where they can learn from their choices with as many chances as they need. But we all know that looking for the good is so much easier to say than to actually put into practice because it is easy to see what our children are doing wrong. And negative behavior begs for our attention. So, we have to be conscious of our responses, because, honestly, who wants to be yelled at all day? Not me! It certainly is not motivating and it destroys that feeling of love that we are all trying to achieve, faster than a speeding bullet! So, what can we do instead to foster this idea with our families?
A better idea is to “catch” them doing right! Here are four ways to help us do that. I’m sure you could find more! I would suggest doing one or two at a time so as not to be overwhelmed as well as to add a spark of enthusiasm which generally accompanies something new:

1. Words of Praise: Let’s say that you’d like a peaceful atmosphere in your home and it seems at times like it is anything but that. Try looking for those rare times when they are getting along. We might say something like, “I’m hearing such kind words from the back seat. Thank you!” Or, “Look how well you are getting along! I’m proud of you!” “I like how you’re sharing your toys!” The tricky part is remembering to notice those positive moments. One way to accomplish this is by making a picture in your home hang slightly crooked. Each time you walk by and see it, it becomes a quiet reminder that now would be a very good time to catch your children doing something good!

2. Jar of pom-poms: Choose an area of focus where you’d like to see improvement. It’s even better if you choose it as a family so you have their input and buy-in. We worked as a family at one point to encourage the phrase, “I would love to” when someone, usually a parent, was asking for help with something or reminding them to do a certain chore. What a difference this phrase made as it began to shape our attitudes towards serving each other with love rather than having to be coaxed or begged with a put-out attitude. When the person said the phrase, “I would love to,” they went over to the jar and put in a pom-pom. And when the jar was full (and our hearts were fuller) we all celebrated by going out for ice cream! You might want to do the same thing and change it up a bit depending on your family’s needs.

3. The Family Book of Honor: In my children’s elementary school, they occasionally had assemblies where a few students were chosen to sign the school Book of Honor. We adopted this idea for our family by nominating people at dinnertime to sign the Durfee Book of Honor, and with it, to write down the great deed they did. Although we only did this for a short time, I must admit that it was fun to have a record of so many good deeds. And it created a feeling of warmth in our home, of looking for the good in others, cheering on the achievements of others, and of striving to do well.

4. Family Rewards: While this idea could work well for any number of improvements, I think it is particularly good in raising children to be strong, good, and valiant. The idea is to choose the values that you’d like to emphasize in your family. Make a few certificates and concentrate on one area each week. Maybe you’ll want to announce the winner of the week at a family dinner and post in a place of prominence – perhaps on their bedroom door or bathroom mirror – someplace where they will see it often and be reminded about just how good they are. I can’t remember where I got this idea from. Maybe it was from one of you? And maybe I made up some of them. At any rate, here are the ones I ended up settling on. You might find others that suit your family’s values:

* Self Starter Award: For someone who took the initiative, saw what needed doing and did it without being asked, or went the extra mile without being asked.

* Neat as a Pin Award: For someone who kept their room clean, straightened up, put things in order, etc.

* Leader for the Right Award: For someone who stood up for what they believed, resisted “following the crowd,” tried to influence someone for good, etc.

* Ice Breaker Award: For someone who made a new friend, started an interesting conversation, asked a question, gave a thoughtful compliment to someone, etc.

* What Would Jesus Do? Award: For someone who remembered to ask this question during the week, and, as a result, consciously made a good choice or decision.

* Peacemaker Award: For someone who helped our home to be a place of peace and love. “Blessed are the peacemakers – for they shall be called the children of God.”

Let’s admit it. We all like to be noticed and praised for the good we do. So instead of letting our families flounder by fishing for compliments, let’s strategize and guide our families as we charter new waters together. As we look for the good, we can tackle family problems and with a little love as bait and hook, validate their efforts and reel in a good catch!

 

Photo by Jayanth Muppaneni on Unsplash 

Law of Conservation of Goodness

Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.

Here’s a throwback to high school physics: remember the Law of Conservation of Matter? Here’s a little reminder with an illustration

Imagine a glass of milk and chocolate syrup. Mix those together: something has definitely changed, but the amount of total liquid is still the same as before. Even if you drink the milk and the cup appears to be empty, the liquid still exists — it wasn’t destroyed — it just changed places. Nothing was created, nothing was destroyed. Amount-wise, it all stayed the same regardless of the color change or change of place.

Well, unfortunately, I tend to notice a Law of Conservation of Goodness in my life as a mother. I have several areas of my life in which I strive for improvement: getting the laundry done! being patient and calm with my children! exposing my children to good music! including the Lord in my day-to-day life! making nourishing meals! Managing my time so I get some one-on-one time with each of my kids as well as with girlfriends and my ever-lovin’ husband! cleaning out the car! and the list goes on and on and on and on.

So I set goals. And I work towards improvement. But it seems like when I get good at one thing, I get worse at another thing. Dangit! That’s what I mean about the Law of Conservation of Goodness — that it appears I can neither create nor destroy the total amount of goodness in my life. It seems stuck at a constant and just changes form, changes color, changes places, changes which goal it applies to.

However, in all honesty, I’ve determined that this is a FALSE law. Oh, it might apply to energy and matter in physics. But as I am getting old enough now to have a little hindsight, I can see a little success in my attempts to get better, even though it looked like it was balanced out by regression in a neglected area. I am definitely better off than if I hadn’t ever made the attempts. Journaling has allowed me to gain this more accurate perspective, and I recommend this practice to you!

Mom, genuinely give yourself credit for how you’ve gradually improved over the years, and pat yourself on the back, resolving not to get discouraged as the path of progression stretches out to the horizon. Use a journal to record your thoughts. Then share if this practice elevates your mothering!