Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip!
Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.
I once learned a useful child-rearing trick at a zoo.
The zookeeper was displaying the elephant’s ability to obey certain commands. Sometimes the elephant wasn’t cooperating, though.
The zookeeper explained: “We just ignore it when the elephant doesn’t cooperate. We don’t punish. Just ignore. Then we repeat the command, in exactly the same tone. When the elephant responds correctly, we praise and reward.”
Now, I don’t want to over-simplify — that can be faulty in and of itself — so I still sometimes give negative consequences to my kiddos. However, I have found the concept of ignoring to be valid overall.
There is power in simply acting as though my child didn’t just scream NO as loudly as an elephant’s trumpet. When I choose not to react, the power of his tantrum deflates. Does that mean he’ll stop right away? Not necessarily. But the encounter will end far better — and sooner — if I don’t get sucked into the violent vortex of high emotion.
Staying calm, pretending my child has not responded, then simply repeating my request in a mild tone, again if necessary. When my child chooses to cooperate, I praise, reward, and sincerely thank that precious child of mine.
I don’t think the elephant gets thanked. I added that part. But I hereby thank the zookeeper for teaching me how to train my little elephants!!
Mom, doing nothing requires intention, ironically. Next time your child is going wild, pretend you don’t notice. Then share if this practice elevates your mothering!
Photo by Helena Lopes on Unsplash