By Alana Hutchins
Ahhhhhh, it is finally 10:00pm, and time to sleep. Isn’t this how we feel most days dragging ourselves into bed and crawling in between our nice soft covers. We look forward to drifting off peacefully into a rejuvenating slumber that oscillates between soothing dreams and deep-sleep oblivion? Or at least that’s how it would work in the ideal world. Often, the cadence of our slow breathing is interrupted by the sharp cry of an infant or the wail of an unhappy two-year-old. BAHH! Not again! I’m too tired to get out of bed, it’s your turn, honey. Alas, waking up with children is part and parcel of the whole parenting deal. Even if waking up with small things is part of the deal. It is not always ideal for getting a good night’s rest, but falling asleep and sleeping through the night is a skill that has to be learned just like any other activity of daily living.
What about those nights when there is no baby to blame and we still sleep terribly? When the red alarm clock taunts us from the nightstand with yet another hour lost and gone to the void of could-have-been-sleeping, when instead of dreaming we are simply lying there wishing we were sleeping. Around midnight, wishing turns to stressing and all hopes of a being chipper tomorrow evaporate all together.
We are happier and healthier when we are well rested—that is all there is to it. Here are some reasons why:
- Our minds are clearer, our concentration and focus better. Scientists think that REM sleep helps remove information that we don’t need, it helps to take out the mental “trash” so to speak.
- During deep sleep, our bodies work to repair muscle, organs, and other cells and replace chemicals that strengthen our immune systems start to circulate in our blood.
- Sleep helps us process the day, and to sort and store memories into our long term memory banks.
- We heal and regenerate during sleep—and children do their best growing.
- Heartbeats and breathing slow down, and blood pressure decreases so there is less stress on our organs during sleep. Body temperature drops and our muscles relax.
- A lack of sleep alters levels of cortisol, leptin, and ghrelin (hormones that regulate stress, hunger, and fat production), which could cause weight gain.
Tips and Tricks for women who want to be pro sleepers:
- Be active or exercise during the day, preferably several hours before bed time, so that your body is tired enough to rest.
- Stick to a routine with consistent bedtimes and rising times. On average adults need 7–9 hours of sleep per night.
- Turn off all screens and blue lights at least an hour before bed time, preferably two. Keep your phone AWAY from the side of your bed. Dock it downstairs. This is also incredibly important for teens who tend to stay up late texting in bed. Even having blue light on in your room can keep you up at night.
- Pray, read, journal, or meditate before trying to go to sleep in order to help your body shift mental gears down. (Avoid reading the news or other stressful items because this might have the opposite effect.)
- Keep your room cool and your blankets heavy. A weighted blanket may help you to settle in for the night. Being tucked in is supposed to mimic being enclosed in the womb and should have a comforting effect on your body.
- Don’t eat right before bedtime. Bonus: This will also help prevent weight gain.
- Try a pair of socks if your feet are cold.
- Use a flat or minimal pillow so that your spine is aligned and your airway unobstructed. This may take some adjustment if you are used to sleeping on lots of pillows.
- Meditation can reduce insomnia by 50%.
- Don’t sleep with children in the same room, if you can help it, and avoid sleeping with a baby or child in your bed. It is a habit that will be difficult to break later on when you want them out of the bedroom.
If you are doing all of these things and still having a hard time falling asleep, you may want to try a warm drink before bed, or a natural supplement like melatonin to help you relax.
Tips and Tricks to help children become pro sleepers:
- Have a consistent bedtime each night that is not too late.*
- Create a pre-bedtime routine that works for both you and your child. Our personal family routine for younger children is bath, books, brush teeth, say prayers, give hugs, sing a song, then lights out. Your routine may vary from mine, but the important thing is that you have one. Setting expectations is half the battle.
- If your child is having a hard time settling down, white noise may help them tune out the rest of the house. (I actually love white noise myself.)
- No screens for at least two hours before bedtime.
- Do not let them get in the habit of climbing into your bed for comfort. If a child is distressed at night, go to them and see what can be done.
- Set firm expectations for getting up at night before consequences set in. “Only once” or “only to use the restroom.” Some children will get up 5–10 times if their parents allow it.
- Have a comfort item on hand—favorite stuffed animal or blanket for many children.
- Do not let infants and toddlers go to sleep with milk, juice, or formula. This can cause dental problems because the unswallowed milk settles onto the teeth and the bacteria convert the milk sugars into acid which eats away at the teeth. If necessary, give them water in a sippy.
- Just like adults, children want to be tucked in, weighted down, or swaddled before bed. This gentle pressure is a signal to your brain to head off to sleep.
Good luck, and sweet dreams!
Groggily yours
*While there is no hard and fast rule, the general guide is toddlers need around 12 hours of sleep a night; children aged 3–6 years old need 10–12 hours; 7- to 12-year-olds need 10–11 hours; and teenagers need around 8–9 hours. You may feel cheated when your child consistently sleeps less than his peers, but the truth is, some kids just don’t need as much sleep to be healthy and feel their best during the day.
Photo by kevin liang on Unsplash