By: Cindy Guillory
1: Start early.
It is never too early to begin the conversation surrounding drugs and alcohol. Children will witness people engaged in smoking and drinking, so it is never too early to start addressing some of the things they will see. Try to keep the conversation age appropriate. Find scripts online if necessary.
2. Keep it simple, yet on-going
Keep the conversation simple but create an open dialogue that is more constant and on-going, rather than a one time “talk”. Keep the dialogue open as they are growing up so that they know you are open and available to discuss the subject.
3. Let them know your expectations
Explain to your kids your expectations of them regarding drug and alcohol use. Be clear with them how you feel about it, and how you would feel if they broke that trust. Parents have a strong influence on their kids and the decisions they make.
4. Explain both the immediate and long-term consequences of drug and alcohol use.
It is important to discuss not only the long-term effects of drug and alcohol use, but the short term effects as well. You could explain to them that smoking will cause their teeth to yellow, their breath to smell bad, how it will affect their athletic performance and the costs associated with it. Children and youth sometimes have a hard time visualizing consequences that are far in the future, so sharing immediate negative consequences is a good way to deter them from participating in those activities.
5. Discuss peer pressure
Explain to your kids about peer pressure and how likely and common that occurs. Share personal stories from your own life and let your child know that it is normal and common to feel pressured by friends. Explain to them that they can always use you as an excuse, and how the two of you can come up with a secret code word to use whenever your child needs to be picked up without an explanation. Let your child know that you are always available, any-time day or night to help them.
6. Explain Addiction
Explain how consuming drugs and/or alcohol can lead to addiction. Discuss the life-altering effects of an addiction and how it physically changes their brain. Explain what happens to those people who suffer with addiction and the struggles and obstacles that they face. Explain how difficult it is to get over addiction and how it is best to avoid anything that can lead to addiction.
7. Know the facts
Be informed about the facts surrounding substance abuse in America. Be a good source of knowledge regarding the subject and share what you know with your kids. Keep up to date on popular drugs in your area and how they are obtained and used.
8. Let your child know how loved they are
Build your child’s confidence by letting them know that they are loved and cared for, and the reason why you worry about them is because you want the best for them. A parent’s job is to guide and protect their children, and to keep them safe and secure. Let them know that the conversation is always open, and they can ask you any questions they have. Try not to get upset or show too much emotion during these conversations so as to not deter them from coming to you at another time. Children need to feel like their parents are their balanced and secure anchors, the port that keeps the ship safe, therefore do your best to remain calm, level-headed and compassionate during these conversations.
Know the signs of substance abuse in teens:
As parents it is necessary that we know the signs of substance abuse to look out for in our children. These symptoms can both be physical and behavioral.
Physical signs could include:
Changes in eye appearance (like bloodshot eyes), changes in weight, smell of smoke, shakiness, fatigue or hyperactivity, sudden changes in appearance, etc.
Behavioral changes could include:
Changes in emotional stability, mood swings, anger, temper, depression, withdrawing from family and friends, changing their friend group, avoiding eye contact, wanting to be left alone, personality changes, etc.
What to do if you expect your child is using drugs
If you suspect that your child is engaging in substance abuse, here are some tips on moving forward:
Confront your child with a calm manner at a time when they are not under the influence and are available to talk. Find a script online and rehearse it prior to beginning your conversation. Make sure that your child understands how much you love and care for them, and how you are only concerned about their wellbeing and safety. Talk to your child’s pediatrician to have the situation evaluated and then decide if more professional help is needed to address the situation. Rely on family and close friends for support during this time, you do not have to act alone in this situation.
Additional Resources:
https://www.healthparkpediatrics.com/tips-for-talking-to-kids-about-drugs/
https://www.turnbridge.com/news-events/latest-articles/talking-to-kids-about-drugs/
https://www.goodrx.com/well-being/substance-use/talk-to-child-about-drugs-alcohol
https://www.therecoveryvillage.com/teen-addiction/drug/teen-using-drugs/