By Ted Gibbons

My Dear Father in Heaven…

Yes?

Could we have a little quiet around here? I’m praying.

But you called me

Called you? Called who? I didn’t call anybody. I’m praying. My Dear Father in Heaven…

There, you did it again.

Did what?

Called me. You said, “My Dear Father in Heaven.” Here I am. What’s on your mind?

But I didn’t mean anything by it. I was just, you know, saying my prayers for the night. I always say my prayers. I don’t feel good about going to sleep if I don’t.

Oh. All right. Go on.

Are you kidding?

You did want to talk to me, didn’t you?

Well—yes

Here I am. Talk

I’m thankful for my many blessings.

Hold it! How thankful?

What?

How thankful are you for your ‘many blessings?’

I’m – well – I don’t know. It’s just part of the prayer. Mom always told me that I should express my thanks.

Oh. Well, you’re certainly welcome. Go ahead.

Go ahead?

With the prayer.

Oh, yeah. Let’s see – bless the poor and the sick and the needy and the afflicted…

Do you really mean that?

Sure I mean it.

What are you doing about it?

Doing? What am I doing about it? Nothing, I guess. I just think that it would be kind of nice if you got control of things down here. I don’t like to see people suffer.

Do I have control of you?

Sure. I go to church. I pay my offerings. I don’t…

That isn’t what I asked you. What about your temper? You don’t even have control of that, and your friends and family suffer. And then there’s the way you spend your money – all on yourself. And how about the kind of books you read? And the movies you see?

Well, Father, I think I’m as good as most of the people I see at church every Sunday.

And you are, but I thought you were praying for me to bless the needy. If that is to happen, I’ll have to have help from the ones who are praying for it. Like you.

I understand. I guess I have a few hangups. Since you brought it up, I could probably mention some others.

So could I

Look, Father, I need to finish up here. This is taking a lot longer than usual. Bless the missionaries to be led to the doors of the honest in heart.

You mean people like Ralph?

Ralph?

Yes. The one you’ve taught your little brother, Joey, to call ‘Beer-belly Ralph.’ The one around the corner.

That Ralph? Ralph Swenson? You’ve got to be kidding. He hasn’t been sober since he was sixteen. And he thinks anyone who goes to church is a hypocrite.

Why?

I don’t know.

It couldn’t have anything to do with the names the neighborhood kids call him, could it?

OK. I get the message. I’ll tell Joey to cut it out.

By the way, have you taken a look at his heart lately?

His heart?

I have. I’ve looked. And it’s one of those honest hearts you were just praying about.

Well, then, do something about it. Do you think I like having an atheist for a neighbor?

Aren’t you supposed to share the gospel? I thought I’d made that pretty clear.

That’s scary. I wouldn’t have any idea how to approach him.

Try a little tolerance and friendship.

Father, wait a minute. I know I’m not perfect. But I am here doing my duty, keeping your commandment to pray, and all of a sudden, you’re here, reminding me of all my problems.

You called me here, remember? Keep on praying. I’m interested in the next part. You haven’t changed the order around have you?

I don’t want to go on.

Why not?

I know what you’ll say.

Try me and see.

Please forgive all my sins, and help me to forgive others.

What about David?

See! I knew it! I knew you’d bring him up. Listen, Lord. He told lies about me and I lost my job – the best job I ever had. Everyone in that office thinks I’m a first-class creep, and I didn’t do anything! Am I supposed to let him get away with that?

But your prayers. What about your prayers?

I didn’t mean the part about forgiving.

Well, at least you’re honest. I guess you enjoy carrying that load of bitterness around don’t you?

No, I don’t. But I’ll feel better as soon as I get even.

Do you wanna know a secret?

What secret?

You won’t feel better. You’ll feel worse. Listen to me. You forgive David, and I’ll forgive you.

Forgive me? For what?

Do you really want the whole list?

All right, nevermind. But Lord – I don’t think I can forgive David.

Then I can’t forgive you.

Why not?

Because I hate to encourage hypocrisy.

Oh all right. Please help me control my actions and not yield to temptations.

Good. I’ll do just that. But you stop putting yourself in all those places where you can be tempted. 

What do you mean by that?

Quit spending so much time scrolling on social media, and be more careful what you click on. Some of that stuff is going to get to you sooner or later and you’ll find yourself involved in something terrible, and when you do, don’t use me for an escape hatch.

An escape hatch? I don’t understand.

Think about it. You’ve done it lots of times. You put very little effort into our relationship until you find yourself in a crisis, then you come running. I know just how your mom feels.

My mom?

Your mom. The only time you talk to her is when you need something. As a matter of fact, it’s amazing how quickly the quality and intensity of your prayers improve when you are in trouble. Do you remember some of those bargains you wanted to make with me?

Bargains? No – well, I don’t think – oh, yeah, like the time mom’s friend saw me coming out of that one movie – oh brother!

Do you remember your prayer? I do. You said, “Dear Father, don’t let her tell my mother where I’ve been. I promise I’ll go to nothing but G-rated movies from now on.” She didn’t tell your mother, but you didn’t keep your promise, did you?

No, Father, I didn’t. I’m sorry.

So am I. Go on and finish your prayer.

No, wait. I want to ask you a question. Do you always listen to my prayers?

Every word, every time.

Why haven’t you answered me before?

How many chances have you given me? There’s not enough time between your “Amen” and your head hitting the pillow for me to take a breath. How am I supposed to give an answer?

You could, if you really wanted to.

No, I could if you really wanted me to. Child, I always want to.

Father, I’m sorry. Will you forgive me?

I already have. And thanks for letting me interrupt. I get lonely to talk to you sometimes. Good night. I love you.

Good night. And I love you, too.

Photo by Diana Simumpande on Unsplash

by Esperanza DeLaLuz

“Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it is not all mixed up.” A A Milne

 

Let’s start with this premise: Organizing things does not make you a better mom. But it does make it easier to find the Band-Aids, and for me, being ADHD, I am able to be a better mom when I have inner peace; and my personal inner peace is disturbed by chaos. But I know lots of wonderful mothers, including my own, who love and care exquisitely well, in a state of frequent disorder.

That said, I am a passionate organizer.  People actually pay me to come organize their kitchen or garage. There are some basic principles to organizing that might be useful to most people to one extent or another, that I thought I might share:

1. Simplify – there are lots of wonderful systems to encourage us to simplify, but most of them boil down to only keeping things that you need, or use, or enjoy. Less stuff means less clutter and less maintenance. But there is also something to be said for having useful backup supplies like food storage, meds, or craft supplies, for preparedness purposes also. But remember, those things are only useful to you if you can find them when a crisis makes them necessary.

2. Contain things – using baskets, boxes, bags, bottles, tubs, cupboards, drawers, etc., This is probably the most important element of organizing. My grandmother used to say “A place for everything, and everything in its place.” My father used to line his top drawer with all kinds of tiny boxes with places for each thing he kept there: watch, coins, keys, etc. So I come by it naturally. But when things are where they belong, my environment is neater, I can find things I need, and I am aware of how much I have and if I have things I can do without. 

It is also helpful to use similar sized and shaped things. For example, having all your dishes or food storage containers the same size makes them stack more neatly. (I actually cut the tops off plastic bleach bottles and used them to stack all my round containers of that size inside them, which kept them from falling over.)

3. Put like things together – it continually surprises me when I go to help someone clean or organize, how often I find similar things in several different places. Now, it makes sense to have things in different places when you use them in multiple places. I have scissors in every room, for example, and of course, toothpaste in most every bathroom. But keeping things together that are the same, or that are used together makes sense. And subdividing those grouped things, so that each kind of thing has its own place can be very useful. You will notice if it is missing, for one thing, or if you have more than you need.

4. Label your stuff – I am probably too focused on labels, because I am absent-minded, and my labeler is one of my favorite tools. But labeling things helps us remember where they belong. Labels can help you identify what goes where and if it is missing. Most of the time you can do this subtly; you can have specific colors of towels for each bathroom, for example, or other visual cues that identify where things belong without actual labels. But you can also do them in cute ways, with fancy labels that are part of the décor. 

My sister pointed out that using pretty baskets to organize my craft supplies was more appealing, more “Feng Shui” than using my labeled assortment of plastic boxes. She was right! So, over the years I picked up lots of fancy baskets at second hand stores.  But then I found that they didn’t look good with labels on them. (But it gave me another fun crafting project to make a lot of cute little wooden plaques to attach to the fronts of the baskets.)

When keeping multiples for utility purposes, labeling which set goes where is very useful. For example, I write on those scissors with a permanent marker which room they belong in, so they don’t end up all in one room when I have used them. 

5. Store things where they are used – we keep the dishes in the kitchen naturally, but sometimes don’t apply that same idea to other places in our home. Closets, cupboards or drawers are less likely to become catch-alls, if you limit them to containing only things that are useful in that place. Of course, there are things that get used in multiple places. Some people keep multiples like I do with the scissors, others make a specific cabinet or dresser drawer for all those things. I have a “utility dresser” with drawers for simple household tools, tape, batteries, lightbulbs, and other things that everyone needs to get to often. Some people keep a “junk drawer” for things that have no specific place, but this is a poor idea since it gets crammed full of stuff that does not ever get assigned to its own place.

6. List stuff – Keeping a list, in a notebook, on the back of a cupboard, or on a computer, can be very useful, especially with stored supplies. It also helps keep supplies current. If there is a list on the back of the medicine cabinet mirror of what you plan to keep in that cabinet, you might be more likely to notice you are out of Band-Aids. A list of what goes in each cupboard on the back of the door, or a master list of desired food storage items, or a list of where important documents are stored can be very useful. Just make sure you have a specific place to keep the lists!

7. Put things back! – This is probably the hardest part for most people. We are naturally lazy, and we don’t want to get up and put things away all the time. But a basket on the stairs for things that need to go upstairs, or a defined place in each room to set things that don’t belong in that room, can make it easier to go around and put things back. You can also make a game of it for little children.  Some younger children actually think it is fun to go put Daddy’s tie in the bedroom for a few raisins! But you can also set up a pattern of going around gathering and putting things back once a day, if you cannot make yourself put things back right away.

8. A few clever helps – everyone has stuff in their house that other people left there. Setting up a basket by the door for these things not only contains them, but also makes it easier to remember to give them back or return them. A box by the garage door for things that need to go out of your home on errands makes it easier to get those errands done and get those things out of your house. Having a specific shelf for your purse, or for school books and back packs, makes finding them much easier. 

Drawer dividers, hook racks, extra shelves inside cabinets, and tote bags can be very useful tools. Having a tote specifically to hold smaller things for organizing (tiny boxes, plastic packets, bags, and such) makes it easier to find something to use to contain and organize things. A place to set things when you first come home, such as a table, bench, or shelf keeps things from getting piled up on the floor. 

Setting up a specific rack in which to put outgoing and incoming mail, a key rack, a mirror, the family calendar, and a place to leave notes, all by the front door can be very useful. A hook rack for hat, coats, sunglasses, flashlight, umbrellas, tote bags, sunscreen or other things that are often needed as leaving the house is useful, too, especially if it can be near the door.

I hope that these general principles can make your life a little bit easier!

 

“Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing (D&C 88:119)

Photo by Alex McCarthy on Unsplash

By Diana

What do you think of when you hear the word “caterpillar?” 

I can’t help but think of this enormous overwhelming sense of potential that it represents, because I instantly think “butterfly” too.  However, this beautiful butterfly is not created overnight. It takes time, patience, energy. It takes growth in all ways, in all shapes, and in lots of sizes. Each caterpillar enters into its own protective home, and awaits its transformation. 

For me, motherhood has, at times, left me feeling quite like a caterpillar. Being a mom is the thing that adds any butterfly into my life at all. It helps me see my potential, and shows me the beauty within myself. Sometimes that beautiful part emerges and I remember the good in me. 

Aren’t we each a work in progress? Aren’t we all transforming into greater and better versions of ourselves? It is so easy to grow impatient as we change and prepare to spread our wings. We have to trust in ourselves; trust in the “progress” part of “work in progress.” It is okay if you still feel like a caterpillar—as long as you remember you are continually transforming into something fabulous.

Photo by British Library on Unsplash

By Annette T. Durfee

Have you ever noticed the oddities of life?

 

Like how come the birthday cake you’re making never looks like the one in the picture?  Never mind comparing it to the picture – it is actually a cake made of four layers, so that means you actually have to use two cake mixes, but the picture won’t tell you that.  Pay no attention to the fact that the crack in the side of the cake will NOT stay “glued” together, no matter how much frosting you use to cement it together.  Humph!  And please don’t notice the huge crumbs that are adhering to the once-white frosting.  Perhaps, you conclude, the sides look better unfrosted anyway!

OR – Does it ever seem that the most meaningful conversation with your spouse is at the end of the day at the bathroom sink while you are foaming at the mouth with an electric toothbrush wildly sputtering, unable in the least to utter a sensible word?  So, you play the game of charades or better yet – an impromptu sign language as you try to decipher the foreign language without splattering toothpaste blobs on the mirror as you laugh through the hilarity of it all?

OR  – Do you find yourself seething at the injustice of finding that there are always at least 3 diapers left in the package that absolutely WILL NOT fit your baby before they transfer to the next size up?  AND –  Have you ever noticed why, with so few people in the family, you manage to dirty every cup in the house – including the measuring cups?

I’m probably not the only one who has had more than her share of Pinterest fails and foibles.  But if my Betty Crocker skills don’t take the cake at least my attitude will.  If you’re like me, and even one of these scenarios rings true for you, this might be a good time to take a look at a happy principle that can help every mother and homemaker:  realistic expectations.  Yes, with a little reality check, you can take anything that comes with ease.

ACCEPTANCE

Did you know that some things are supposed to be imperfect?

Mismatched socks, scuffs on your best running shoes, sticky fingerprints on the fridge door handle.  Almost imperceptibly, dust, flabby bellies, and burnt toast happen.  Life happens! 

There’s nothing wrong with you.  There’s nothing wrong with your family. It is what it is.  And it’s not only OK for it to be this way, it is supposed to be that way! 

Take the coffee table for example – an innocent enough piece of furniture wouldn’t you say?  But in a house full of children, is it really going to stay a center focal piece impressively set with elegant table top décor?   Of course not!  You and I both know that even the best homes aren’t picture perfect. 

We can expect that homes with children have their fair share of crumbs, smelly socks, broken figurines, lost items, scattered toys, ripped pages in books, smears on the sliding glass door, and on and on.  It helps when I know that some things will inevitably happen because it allows me a great deal of sanity for when the unexpected happens and things don’t work out perfectly. 

In fact, if you can look at it with a smile in your heart, you might just find it so ludicrous that it provides a moment of laughter that you look back on with fondness.

While mothering my Littles, I frequently found peace of mind through a quote often attributed to Marjorie Pay Hinckley to help me remember that my priorities were just where they should be:

“I don’t want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails. I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp. I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbor’s children. I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone’s garden. I want to be there with children’s sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder. I want the Lord to know I was really here, and that I really lived.”

Expecting reality doesn’t mean admitting defeat!

I can expect, for example, that my children will make endless messes (and I will too), but that doesn’t stop us from cleaning it up at the appropriate time. 

My communication with my spouse may be spotty at times, but that doesn’t mean we neglect our relationship.  We regularly and consistently schedule time to be with one another to just TALK (most times without a dental implement in hand).  ​

We are gloriously imperfect in each and every way, but we set goals, and give assignments.  And we put our plan into action with a little elbow grease.  We do it, remembering the WHY of it all – not to satisfy some plausible guest who never seems to stop by, nor even to catch up to the Jones family (although we admit that they ARE a nice bunch!) – but because we like it that way.  In fact, we even enjoy it!

I am enough.

I can be happy without being Pinterest Perfect.  While the Internet world of “reality” sometimes creates a facade of perfectly clean homes, the Gerber baby who never cries, and homes decorated to a “T,” I can be happy with what we have and who we are becoming.  I may also (heaven forbid) go without some of the niceties of the luxury homes in order to allow myself to spend more time concentrating my efforts more closely on building a strong home and family.  We can also give ourselves credit for being creative, even if it means that we make a mess for a while. 

We are, after all, learning, growing, and developing together.  In fact, we are a living, breathing work of art!  I suppose the casual passerby may judge me and my efforts (or seemingly lack of them), but that judge won’t be me.  I will give myself grace allowing me and my family space to be real humans. We ARE indeed “good enough.” We can have strength and self – confidence to do and be and achieve in real albeit imperfect ways.

Photo by Christopher Martyn on Unsplash

By Leigha Westover

Please take a moment to ponder the meaning of Self Reliance.

Webster’s dictionary states that self-reliance is reliance on one’s own efforts and abilities. If we are to take this into account then I am not very self-reliant — I need the aid of others to provide my clothes, food, and shelter.  In our society, we have prospered by using our personal efforts and abilities to share and provide for others’ needs, as they also do for us.  In exchange for the services rendered, we use the value of currency.

As a child, I learned to work and contribute in our home while my father went to work to provide for our needs. As I progressed in years, my desire to become more independent increased. I secured a job in a delicatessen as a part-time server, so I was able to provide for some of the increased desires of a teenager, such as entertainment.  

Approaching my young adult years I continued to thrive and advanced to being able to purchase a car and move into an apartment with other young adults. My understanding of finance was just to meet the basics and get by. As I was learning and growing socially, spiritually, and mentally, I did not increase my understanding of providing beyond what I needed.

I continued to live by the basic principles of earning just enough to get by for the first 25 years of marriage.  We struggled, trying to get ahead financially and we never got there. We always had barely enough for us and sometimes not even that. My underdeveloped outlook on budgeting limited my family. Occasionally I would stretch out my faith to believe there would be enough when the kids wanted to invite a friend to eat with us. And there always was even when I lacked faith and said no.  

As you seek to understand what self-reliance means for you in your life, you may discover that you have more learning to do. Identify principles — statements of truth — you can try to apply to your daily life.

SOME PRINCIPLES TO CONSIDER: 

Pay the Lord first (tithing and/or donations), then pay yourself (savings), then SPEND WISELY.

• This principle has always been on the top of my list.  For doing this I know that all my wants and desires were met.  

Build up the self-discipline necessary to live according to your budget. 

• I would write out a budget.  But it was limited to our needs, not our desires and goals.

Be willing to sacrifice for the sake of stability.

• I felt like I was always sacrificing and there was no room for improvement. I learned to grow my willingness to do more if possible and then do it one step at a time.

Less really can be more. Simplify! Embrace the concept of ENOUGH. 

• Again I felt we had less; what else could I do? I did rearrange where the funds would go, having specific accounts for the necessities that come up.  Dental, Medical, and car repairs.  Things that are not every month but do come up.  

Get out of debt and save to purchase what you want.   

• When you are tied to payments that use up your paycheck before you receive it, it binds you down.  You may not feel free to be generous and bless others. When reviewing your budget get rid of things you don’t need. Sell off what you can and get rid of the debt to free yourself from the bondage.

Money is not a god worthy of our worship. Trust in financial good karma!

• My understanding at the time was: “I am blessed to have what I have! Why would I want more when others have less than I do?” This is where I learned I needed to change my attitude. If I want to help others, I have to first be in a position to do so. My budget changed to create more and so I am able to do more.  

It may not always be money you will be blessed with. It may be as simple as creating a revolving closet in your home or extra food in your garden etc. .  As you are blessed with plenty, bless others with it as well.  We do not need to hold on when others burdens can be lighter. 

Work together to make things work: Value ALL the work necessary to make a family successful, whether or not it brings in financial income. 

• As a family, counsel together and help each other understand and know their needs and desires. Work together to set goals to help each other feel like they are a part of the solution to pay for a family vacation, a new car or repairs, a soccer club, braces, or medical expenses.

In the Bible, we read “I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly” (John 10:10). I believe that if our desire is to do good continually to comfort, strengthen, and clothe our neighbor (love them!), we must budget wisely, and then when we are blessed with excess, we can pass it on to others.

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash