Aster Paredes Morales - Momivate

The Natural State of Motherhood

Here is a funny story: Back before you could buy fast food with a credit card, I found myself with three hungry kids and too many hours before we could go home. So, I made a quick stop at McDonalds and, with the couple of dollars cash I had, I got a burger and a large fries to split among the kids, knowing I could make it the next few hours without this snack. As I divided the burger into 3 parts and doled a third of the fries to each child, a man walked by our table and made some assumptions. He promptly went and bought four burgers and gave them to us.

I assured him that we had plenty of money, just not in cash, and it would only be a few hours before we could eat at home. He would not be deterred, though, so thanks to his kindness we had a full lunch. To this day, I think he really believes that I was lying to save face.

Because it is so common for mothers to make sacrifices for their children, that man assumed that I was one of those wonderful mothers who goes without food so that her kids can eat. Well, I have never been in a situation where there wasn’t enough food, except very temporarily, but I hope that if I were, I would be able to do as so many mothers in the past have done: survive on minimal rations in order that their children would have enough food.

Every mother makes sacrifices for her children, and many are not visible sacrifices: sleep, peace of mind, time alone, cooking dinner with one child on the hip and another dragging at her clothing, convincing sick children to take their medicine, cleaning wounds, combing tangles, and more and more.

We do these things for two reasons: because we love them enough to sacrifice our own comfort for them, and because we know that sometimes we must do things for our children that are hard, because we love them more than we desire them to be happy with us.

Someone once said a similar thing about God: He’s more interested in our growth than in our comfort. And He’s willing to take the “blame” when we aren’t happy with the circumstances that are intended to result in our growth. As moms, we model this divine structure with our children in two ways: accepting God’s will for us even if it’s harder than we want it to be, and interacting with our children in ways that, in the long run, are for the best but, in the short-term, aren’t “fun.” And that is a sacrifice of its own kind.

“The natural state of motherhood is unselfishness. When you become a mother, you are no longer the center of your own universe. You relinquish that position to your children.” Jessica Lange

Photo by Tanaphong Toochinda on Unsplash

Fun Action Songs All Kids Should Know

By Samantha Allred

Fun Action Songs to Teach Your Toddler

These fun songs for toddlers and young kids are not only great for using up some of their extra energy, but they also teach coordination skills and help with language development. These are great songs to use on a rainy day or during the cold months of the year when kids are typically stuck indoors, but they would also be a great addition to your daily routine.

1. Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes – This is a classic song to teach your kids the basic body parts. After your kids learn the lyrics and actions, you can teach them to do the song really fast, really slow, or any other alternatives you can think of.

2. If You’re Happy and You Know It – This song will encourage kids to get creative and get moving. You can replace clapping your hands with different actions such as stomp your feet, blink your eyes, turn around, shout hooray, etc. Encourage the kids to come up with their own actions too!

3. Wheels on the Bus – We couldn’t make this list without including this song, which even toddlers can pick up on from a young age. This is a very popular song in our house that we sing at nearly every diaper change to distract our wiggly toddler.

4. Five Little Monkeys – Even if jumping on the bed is against the rules, this is a great song to help with gross motor development and getting wiggles out through lots of jumping. It also is a great tool to teach about numbers and counting.

5. Itsy Bitsy Spider – This simple song is short and sweet, but can help greatly with fine motor skills. Toddlers love it and can learn to mimic the simple actions.

Next time your kids need to get some wiggles out, consider teaching them some of these fun songs. When kids move to music, they are getting so much more than just exercise. They are developing coordination, balance, language, and concentration.

Photo by Taylor Gray on Unsplash

Magical Motivators for Mom

By Annette T. Durfee

UGH! The dishes are undone (again!), the laundry is ludicrous, and you sit defeated on the couch. You have a mile long list of things to do, but honestly, the motivation to do it just isn’t bubbling to the surface! Do you ever feel like that? I surely have. And perhaps it’s because I’ve felt like this SO often that I have developed a list of “go-tos,” or strategies to help me bite the bullet and turn miserable mayhem into a magical motivation. I thought I’d share a few that have helped me, in hopes that they will help you too!

1. Make it fun! Maybe I’m just a kid at heart, because although I know I could just power through and get the job done, a big part of me says, “why not make it fun?” This is where your creativity comes into play and the sky’s the limit, ladies! What would make this task A LOT of fun for you? Turning on the music and dancing while you go at it? (Yes, even if your children laugh at you!) Listening to a podcast while you work away? Or how about making it into a game? A few other ideas: I purposely buy my favorite scents for cleaning so I can relish the process more. And I’ve been known to let my mind wander as I work while planning a fun family frolic for the future.

2. Better with a buddy – Whether this is your husband, a child, or a really good friend, sometimes it is just easier as well as a lot more fun to tackle the work or a project with a friend in tow. While they help to shoulder the burden, you both enjoy conversation and even a few good laughs. Not only do you get something done that needs doing, but somehow, it seems less of a chore. And of course, the added bonus is that you simultaneously build a stronger relationship. When all is said and done, remember that turn around is fair play – you can offer to help them with what they need as well!

3. Set the timer – Sometimes the main problem is that I am overwhelmed. Have you been there? It just seems like there is too much to do, and where in the world do I start? So, instead of procrastinating, I tell myself, “I will only work for ten minutes at top speed, and then, if I feel like it, I can stop.” And sometimes I do just that and I honestly feel better because the task at hand is now significantly smaller and easier for the next time I have to face it. Other times, however, just rolling up my sleeves and really digging in produces momentum and my motivation soars. (Super Mom powers activate!) I find my mind actually enjoying the process and I don’t want to stop!

4. Reward yourself – I know that some people might look at this as “bribery,” but somehow, I don’t mind doing something if I know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel: What sounds inspiring to you? bubble bath? a short nap? a few minutes with a good book? Or maybe a little snuggle time with your child? Make yourself a deal you can’t refuse, then follow through with it! A word of caution: While I have to admit I “love me” some chocolate, I would suggest steering away from food as a reward (at least on a constant basis) as we all know that would be trading one problem for another. And if all else fails, remember YOUR WHY! Think of the faces of your beautiful family and what they mean to you. You are worth it! They are worth it! Therein lies a reward in and of itself!

5. Reach out – If you find that your motivation is low for extended periods don’t hesitate to reach out for help. Goodness knows we ALL need it from time to time! What might this look like for you? Are you lonely? Who could you call for a good old-fashioned chat? Do you feel overwhelmed? Could you arrange for a sitter so you can hit your list head on? And what if you feel like sitting in bed day after day for weeks? If so, there is no shame in scheduling a trip to the doctor to help rule out or treat depression. Believe me, I’ve been there and I can assure you that there is help for you. You are not alone!

No matter what strategies you decide upon, I have faith that you WILL find a way. You can do this! You are enough and that magical motivation you need is waiting just around the corner. . .

Photo by Edward Cisneros on Unsplash

Candyland, Again?

By Esperanza DeLaLuz

Being a mother is a thing that changes you forever. Once you make that commitment to a child, it’s the child’s well-being, growth, and happiness that is the most important thing in your world. You’ll go without sleep, go hungry, clean up disgusting substances, labor for hours to create the perfect event or costume, and spend hours and hours repeating activities that would otherwise be incredibly boring.

Recently, I found myself playing 27 games of Candyland in a row because my 5-year-old granddaughter loves that game and can play it competently. I don’t like Candyland, but I love the excitement on her face when she makes a good move, or the exuberant thrill when she wins. Even the sadness when she has to go backwards is just adorable!

Do you know the history of Candyland? During the Polio era, before vaccines, there were lots of very young children in hospitals, and they were very bored, lonel,y and unhappy. But many of them were too young to read and unable to play games without adult involvement.

In 1948, a retired schoolteacher named Eleanor Abbott decided to create a board game that could become a distraction for very young patients. The outbreak had forced children into extremely restrictive environments. Concerned with the spread of polio, parents kept their children indoors, and children were frustrated. Games like Candy Land became an ideal way to keep them occupied.

Children who had contracted polio were isolated, physically weak, and often confined by equipment. Candy land was designed to let young children play by themselves. As long as the child can count to 2 and match colors, the child can play. Candy Land offered the children confined in hospitals a welcome distraction—but it also gave immobilized patients a liberating fantasy of movement. The joy of movement, especially for polio patients, seems to have been integral to Abbott’s design philosophy from the start. The original board even depicts the tentative steps of a boy in a leg brace!

The game teaches pattern recognition and following instructions. It shows children how to play together—how to win humbly or lose graciously. The game is designed to be outgrown. As soon as a child realizes that there is nothing that they can do to alter the course of the game, they begin to desire more challenging entertainment. But there will always be young children who need a game that they can play, and Moms and Nannas who will play 27 games in a row for the pure joy of watching a child play.

“A mother’s love for her child is like nothing else in the world.” Agatha Christie

Some material was excerpted from: “Candy Land Was Invented for Polio Wards” By Alexander B. Joy

Five Ways to Handle a Bad Mom Day

By Samantha Allred Anyone who has spent an entire day with kids knows that it can be overwhelming and difficult. Most days are full of laughter, playing, and joy. But some days are full of tears and tantrums – all day long. On those bad days, it is easy to start down a spiral of stress and frustration and those emotions have a huge impact on our kids. That’s why it is important to know how to change your bad days into good days. Here are a few tips you can try the next time you’re having a rough day at home with the kids: 1. Get Outside! If you’re cranky, then the kids are probably cranky too. Dishes and laundry can wait for an hour while you take the kids on a walk or to the park. Let your kids run, soak up some sun, and explore. Being outside is a fantastic mood lifter. 2. Set the Timer for Ten Minutes If you are feeling overwhelmed with a to-do list a mile long, tell the kids you are setting the timer for ten minutes, invite them to help, and do everything you can before the timer goes off. Do the dishes, tidy up, switch the laundry over, take out the trash, sweep the kitchen, or whatever else is an immediate need. You will be surprised at how much you are able to accomplish in a short amount of time. When the timer goes off, stop your chores and focus on your kids. In a few hours, set the timer again. After a few ten minute sessions, hopefully you will have most of your chores done. 3.Talk to Someone Adult relationships in motherhood are so important. Talking to a friend about life can be a great stress reliever. We all require connection to thrive and it can be hard to feel connected when you only talk to tiny humans all day. Make sure you can talk to somebody about your struggles, your hobbies, your current favorite TV show, or whatever else you want! Consider joining a facebook group or a support group for mothers in your area. 4. Listen to some Mood-Boosting Music Music has been proven time and time again to distract us from fatigue and exhaustion, elevate our mood, lessen anxiety, and even improve our health. Play a favorite album, find some fun action songs to get the kids moving, or have an impromptu dance party in the kitchen. 5. Give Yourself Grace Remember that you are a good mom. Having a bad day as a mom does not define you. You are allowed to feel stressed and overwhelmed. Everybody has bad days occasionally. Let your kids see you practice the important skill of turning a bad day into a good day. If you find yourself having bad days more frequently, make sure you make yourself a priority by taking a break and practicing self care. You cannot pour from an empty cup, take care of yourself first. Photo by Vitaly Gariev on Unsplash

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