Regan Barnes - Momivate

Are You Too Busy to Make Bad Choices?

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Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.

One day, my 12 year old son came to me, telling me he was tired of getting reprimanded. Now, he’s a good kid with a great sense of humor. He has excellent work ethic and is very thorough *when* he does his chores.

This particular day, he hadn’t yet done his chores even after several reminders… and as he voiced his concern, I had to agree that I had indeed been getting on him quite a bit for his annoying actions towards his siblings.

I never intended to be the kind of mother who points out everything my child is doing wrong. I also regretted focusing on his faults, since I buy into the concept that what you focus on increases! I took a deep breath and hugged him and suggested we have a chat, assuring him that I knew one of his talents is his willingness to talk things over!

We discussed what kinds of actions were getting him into trouble. As our conversation continued, it became clear that he had been so busy bugging his brothers and sisters that he ran out of time to do his chores.

I decided to take what we were learning and phrase it more positively:

When you’re busy doing the things you’re supposed to be doing, you won’t have time to get in trouble!

I can think of all sorts of ways this applies to life! Not just the life of a sweet 12 year old who is feeling worn down, but to all of us who struggle with guilt. Sometimes I’m so aware of my imperfections and basically, reprimand myself all day — that it sucks away my energy to accomplish the good stuff.

So I’m going to start taking my own advice and flip that dynamic to my benefit. I’m going to be so busy with the good stuff that the bad stuff will naturally get cut out of my time-limited day. I won’t have time to scowl, yell, and complain because I’ll be too busy being grateful, giving compliments and encouragement, and smiling instead.

Mom, try replacing the things that get you in trouble with good things that you’re supposed to be doing! Then share if this practice elevates your mothering!

Photo by Paul Skorupskas on Unsplash

Best Christmas Gift: Memories!

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Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.

I’m starting out with a Confession: I haven’t always liked the holiday season — my husband is adorable — he has a childlike fascination with the festivities of winter and it is a sweet blessing to watch his whole-hearted devotion to all things Christmas. I have to keep working to overcome dregs of childhood memories when my mom was too stressed out by anything money related because she was single.

Part of the problem, I confess, is that we end up with too much stuff — and I really don’t like clutter… Especially paying money to get more clutter!

It’s my own fault! I want to make our children’s dreams come true! So I buy them the plastic toys and anxiously await the momentary glitter in their eyes when they tear open the wrapping paper! Then they give Santa all the credit… I’m not bitter, though!

Ahem,

So, my point is that over the years I have learned to give memories rather than stuff! For example, one year, I gave my daughters the gift of attending a mother/daughter retreat at a mansion at Bear Lake!

It was slightly more expensive than what we normally budget for Christmas gifts, but they won’t outgrow the fun we had, I won’t ever have to pick it up off the floor or give it to Goodwill or throw it away because it got broken!

Oh, and Santa won’t get the credit for it!!

Moms, as the Christmas season approaches, brainstorm: What memories can you give as gifts? How about going to a concert together? Getting season tickets to your favorite sports team? Signing up for a class together, maybe kickboxing at the gym or a second language at the local community college… A camping trip or a cruise? The key word is “together” and that’s how memories are made. Please share if this practice elevates your mothering!

Photo by Mick Haupt on Unsplash

How To Consume Less Candy This Halloween

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Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.

I’m going to share a Halloween story but don’t worry it’s not scary…

It features my now-eleven year old son, a precious memory from when he was just four. Our Halloween festivities started off with a “Trunk-or-Treat” activity in the church parking lot. This might be a local phenomenon so I’ll describe it briefly… participants drive their cars to a large parking lot and then open their trunks and decorate them. Then Instead of going door to door, children go from trunk to trunk, where the vehicle owner hands out their sweet offerings. My little guy greatly enjoyed gathering these goodies but the weather got pretty cold so we headed home once he was pleased with his amount of candy.

At home, we had ghouls and goblins knocking on our door yelling trick or treat, and this is when things got really fun for this sweet four year old boy!

He got so excited to have guests that *he* could give candy to! He opened the door and let them have candy out of his own loot bag!

I figured he was just too little to understand Halloween, so I re-directed him to the bowl of candy that we had purchased to give away, but each time he heard a knock, he opted to give from his own stash until it dwindled away to nothing, which seemed to be his goal: he was thrilled when all his treats were gone!

The joy on his face was the kind that only comes from selfless giving. His glow lit up the Halloween night! Better than any jack o lantern.

It may have only been matched by my glow as a proud mom watching this innate sense of happiness derived from making others happy!

I’ve tried to remember that example and apply it to my own life — how selfless giving is the source of true joy. And hey, it might mean fewer cavities and calories, too! Mama, look for lessons you can learn from your child’s innocence, then share if this practice elevates your mothering!

Photo by Tolgahan Akbulut on Unsplash

Simplified Meal Times

Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.

Ya know, I wouldn’t mind feeding my kids if they would just stay full. But no matter how much love I put into a meal, how much effort or energy or planning… they’re hungry again in just a few hours.

Over the couple of decades that I’ve been studying motherhood, I’ve determined that if I can make homemade meals less complicated, the more committed I’ll be to the work involved, and our whole family can bask in the many benefits: health, financial, and familial.

I now have happy meal planning sessions because I just focus on including three elements in each meal: a protein (plant-based more often than not), a grain (ideally a whole one), and a fruit or veggie (bonus points for fresh produce!).

I have removed some pressure from myself by teaching these elements to my kids, and having them do a mental checklist as they feed themselves breakfast or pack their school lunches. We have a list posted on the inside of a cabinet door so they can choose from things that are generally part of each week’s grocery trip.

Oh, how I’d love to have a week’s worth of dinners neatly typed up every Sunday night, but that’s a battle I have only won periodically. Instead, I aim to know by 10am what we’ll have for dinner that night — and that has been a more victorious way for me to meal-plan! One way I thin-out the myriad possibilities is by assigning a theme to each night and finding a recipe that fits the genre. International night! Pasta night! Chicken night! Beans & rice night! Potatoes night! Seafood night! Leftovers night!

I don’t *really* want my kiddos to stop eating. I know it might keep my kitchen cleaner, but I’ve observed that kids with full tummies behave better, not to mention the obvious gains in physical growth. So, these simplified systems help me stay committed to healthful home-based meals and endure with confidence my family’s continual need for nourishment.

Mom, what are some ways you can simplify this task that takes place at least 21 times each week? Increase how often you eat meals at home by brainstorming ways to meet the challenges inherent in this duty. Then share if this practice elevates your mothering!

Photo by National Cancer Institute on Unsplash

Two Minute Mom Tips

Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to YUMMIFY your mothering experience.

That’s right — today’s tip is yummy! It’s one of my favorite smoothie recipes called Cuppa Reese’s…

It doesn’t actually have any Reese’s in it, so maybe I’m breaking some kind of trademark laws… But it does have chocolate and peanut butter in it, so really I am honoring the genius of the Reese’s people by naming this concoction after their incredible delectable combination of ingredients.

Two things separate my recipe from the Reese’s product:

First of all: It’s drinkable!

Secondly: It’s good for me! And for You!

The first ingredient in all my smoothies is spinach… I hide it in my food to help myself get more of this superfood goodness and (cross my heart) I do not notice the flavor when mixed with all the other yummies…

So, stuff a handful or two of fresh spinach (so we’re strong to the finish!) down into the bottom of the blender. Here’s a hint: you can buy fresh spinach and, after washing it, throw it in the freezer since you’re just going to blend it up into a nice cold smoothie anyway!

Next throw in some frozen Banana Chunks — about 1 and 1/2 banana’s-worth

Add 1/4 cup each of cocoa powder and peanut butter

1 tsp vanilla extract

Now add your favorite milk (I like almond or coconut) — maybe half a cup? Just enough to blend all these ingredients into creamy yummyness.

Gather the kids around for Cuppa Reese’s and they’ll much prefer this method of getting their spinach in their system!

Do you have a favorite smoothie recipe? Share it on our Momivate facebook page! If you’re new to the world of smoothies, add spinach to your grocery list and try it out sometime this week, then share if this practice elevates your mothering!

Photo by American Heritage Chocolate on Unsplash