Mental Illness in Motherhood
Picture this: you’ve just gotten home from a two day hospital stay. You’re sore, exhausted, and anxious. You’ve just gotten your older kids to bed but you don’t feel any relief. You’re terrified to go to sleep because you know that means you’ll have to wake up the next day and take care of the kids. You just want to curl up in your husband’s arms and sob. You peek over at him and are filled with anger. Not at him–but at who he is holding. Your brand new baby. You need your husband right now but this baby is taking all of his attention. This baby who is going to keep you up night after night and suck up all of your time. And dang it, you feel angry. That’s when the shame hits too.
This was me the day I got home from the hospital with my third son. I had cried more times than I could count, had at least five different panic attacks, and was angry at my innocent little newborn for stealing my husband. Not to mention–I felt like a failure for not being able to breastfeed AGAIN. Of course, bottle feeding doesn’t mean you’re a failure by any means, but 48 hour postpartum Alisha was certainly not thinking very logically and I was most definitely the worst of the worst. I mean, I was so sure I’d be able to do it this time and I really wanted to!
So here I was–the worst mom with nipples as useless as her husband’s all alone with no love because it was all very obviously being sucked up by an evil (albeit super adorable) 2-day-old. Pretty sad, right? This is the part people don’t talk about. The shame. The anger. The anxiety. Of course, postpartum isn’t the same for everyone.
Now; before we dive deeper, you need to know that I–Alisha– am not a medical professional. If you have serious concerns, please consult a professional. This blog post was just written to provide awareness to certain postpartum mental illnesses and to share my experiences. Understand? Good. Let’s get to it!
March of Dimes reported in 2025 that up to 80% of women experience the “baby blues”. According to them, the baby blues start shortly after birth and typically lasts 2-3 weeks. It consists of feeling sad and can be caused by things such as hormone changes and lack of sleep (lack of sleep ALONE turns me into a monster). March of Dimes warn of signs that point to Postpartum Depression (PPD) including “feeling overpowering guilt, sadness, or panic […] scary thoughts about yourself or your baby […] [and] [doesn’t] get better after 2 weeks”.
The CDC did a study of Postpartum Depressive Symptoms (PDS) in 31 different locations and found that its prevalence was 13.2%. These are not the only mental struggles that can affect women after giving birth. There are also Postpartum Anxiety and Panic Disorders, Postpartum Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Postpartum Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, and Postpartum Psychosis.
Please do not hesitate to reach out to a medical professional if you or a loved one is experiencing symptoms of any of these illnesses. Immediate action can help save lives. You are not alone in this. You are not bad. You just need support. Please accept it.
Resources:
https://www.marchofdimes.org/find-support/topics/postpartum/baby-blues-after-pregnancy