By Allison Marquina
As moms we have long to-do lists, and because there just aren’t enough hours in the day to get everything done we have to prioritize. We prioritize the things that are important to us and the things that have to get done. These might be things such as dropping kids off to school, completing a work assignment, making sure dinner is taken care of, etc. Then there are the things that we know are important but they don’t feel urgent, a concept discussed in the book Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. These are the activities that tend to get pushed down on our to-do lists.
One item that we moms often neglect is building relationships with other moms. Since it doesn’t have a sense of urgency, we might disregard the importance of it! Let’s consider why we need to actively combat the loneliness that can threaten our mental health.
Other moms can provide a unique circle of support. This circle can be made up of the many different moms in our lives including:
- our own moms, sisters, mother or sister-in laws,
- moms from a church community,
- moms from our kids’ school or daycare
- moms from online communities.
Wherever our mom friends come from, the important thing is that they are women who we can have positive relationships with.
As we build our circle of mom friends, we build the amount of support we have in raising our children. Older moms can give us welcomed guidance in navigating new phases that our children may be experiencing. Younger moms can provide unique perspectives we may benefit from. We can also reciprocate this support – especially when we see other moms in need of help. Sometimes the need may simply be knowing that we are not alone in our endeavor of being a good mom.
For some reason, we moms are at risk of falling into the trap of comparison or competition with other moms – but we must not succumb to this! It’s okay to acknowledge different strengths and weaknesses we all have – that is what makes these relationships so special. Let’s learn from each other without being judgemental or putting each other down. When these tendencies come from our personal insecurities, it helps to remember that we also have unique qualities that other moms can benefit from.
It may be hard to find time in our busy schedules to prioritize relationships with moms but it’s worth trying to find simple opportunities to do this. Maybe this looks like:
- staying off your phone and, instead, talking to the women around you when you go to the park or library
- calling someone while you do a mindless chore like folding laundry
- finding a positive online community and participating intentionally (this excludes numbly scrolling on social media!).
The possibilities are endless! As you intentionally reach out, remember that the world is full of moms just trying to do their best and the journey can be so much easier for all of us as we build a positive circle of support with other moms.
Covey, S. R. (2005). The 7 habits of highly effective people: a personal workbook. Simon & Schuster.
Momivate is putting together support groups for moms called SMILE gatherings – Join Now!
Photo by Courtney Cook on Unsplash