Personal Pursuits

Is it perimenopause?

Spring is here! The sun is shining, the birds are singing, the bees are humming—and you’re feeling and moving like Suzy the sloth. You ask yourself, Where is my energy? There are a lot of reasons for feeling tired—anything from wacky sleep schedules to lack of motivation. Let me suggest another possibility for your decreased energy. Could it be perimenopause? Wait, what is that?

What is Perimenopause? Menopause?

Perimenopause is the transitional period before menopause. It can last from four to ten years. Some women begin noticing symptoms in their thirties but most women will start the process in their forties. Menopause occurs when a woman does not have a menstrual cycle for twelve consecutive months. Average age for menopause is fifty-one but can occur anytime between ages forty to fifty-eight. Due to medical procedures, some women may undergo menopause early; this is called induced menopause.

Symptoms
During perimenopause, ovaries are beginning to slow down, and less estrogen is produced. Eventually, the ovaries will no longer release eggs, so pregnancy will not be able to occur. This transition causes hormone fluctuations resulting in some of the following common symptoms: hot flashes, night sweats, breast tenderness, migraine headaches, difficulty concentrating, sleep challenges, mood swings, anxiety, menstrual cycle changes, weight gain, loss of libido, etc. Some uncommon symptoms include increased body odor, hair loss, vision changes, cold flashes, increased allergies, increased facial hair. Symptoms may continue until the menopause stage for some women. Due to low estrogen levels during breastfeeding, mothers may feel symptoms that are menopausal-like. Yet, it is possible for a breastfeeding mother to experience perimenopause.

What can you do?
Educate yourself prior to seeking assistance from a medical professional. It is important to be an active participant in your healthcare, and not a spectator. Create a partnership with your chosen medical professional to explore possible treatment plans to address your symptoms.

Prioritize sleep. Create a healthy sleep environment by minimizing or stopping the use of electronics two hours before bedtime.

Know common and not so common symptoms of perimenopause. Not all women experience the same symptoms.

Know your family reproductive history. When did your mother and grandmother experience perimenopause or menopause? You may or may not follow the same pattern.
Improve your nutrition and increase physical activity. It is important to provide your body with essential nutrients during this time of change to reduce chronic disease risk. Moving a little bit everyday helps with potential weight gain and improves your mood.

Seek support from loved ones, a support group or even professional counseling if necessary. You are not alone and it is definitely okay to create the space to process your feelings.

Perimenopause and menopause are natural processes that occur for women and should not be feared. Empower yourselves with information and support so you can become a positive example to other women.

Resources:
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/perimenopause/symptoms-causes/syc-20354666

https://www.womenshealth.gov/menopause

Law of Conservation of Goodness

Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.

Here’s a throwback to high school physics: remember the Law of Conservation of Matter? Here’s a little reminder with an illustration

Imagine a glass of milk and chocolate syrup. Mix those together: something has definitely changed, but the amount of total liquid is still the same as before. Even if you drink the milk and the cup appears to be empty, the liquid still exists — it wasn’t destroyed — it just changed places. Nothing was created, nothing was destroyed. Amount-wise, it all stayed the same regardless of the color change or change of place.

Well, unfortunately, I tend to notice a Law of Conservation of Goodness in my life as a mother. I have several areas of my life in which I strive for improvement: getting the laundry done! being patient and calm with my children! exposing my children to good music! including the Lord in my day-to-day life! making nourishing meals! Managing my time so I get some one-on-one time with each of my kids as well as with girlfriends and my ever-lovin’ husband! cleaning out the car! and the list goes on and on and on and on.

So I set goals. And I work towards improvement. But it seems like when I get good at one thing, I get worse at another thing. Dangit! That’s what I mean about the Law of Conservation of Goodness — that it appears I can neither create nor destroy the total amount of goodness in my life. It seems stuck at a constant and just changes form, changes color, changes places, changes which goal it applies to.

However, in all honesty, I’ve determined that this is a FALSE law. Oh, it might apply to energy and matter in physics. But as I am getting old enough now to have a little hindsight, I can see a little success in my attempts to get better, even though it looked like it was balanced out by regression in a neglected area. I am definitely better off than if I hadn’t ever made the attempts. Journaling has allowed me to gain this more accurate perspective, and I recommend this practice to you!

Mom, genuinely give yourself credit for how you’ve gradually improved over the years, and pat yourself on the back, resolving not to get discouraged as the path of progression stretches out to the horizon. Use a journal to record your thoughts. Then share if this practice elevates your mothering!

Meditation

By Alana Hutchins

A familiar word with an unfamiliar feeling. Over 14% of the U.S. population, and over 5% of children, have tried meditating at one point or another, but not everyone keeps up the practice. There are many different types of meditation, but let’s assume that as a busy mother you don’t feel like you have time for any of them. In a stress- and anxiety-saturated world, it is no wonder people are looking for ways to detox their brains and regain their mental health. Meditation is not new; it is an ancient practice making a modern come back. Meditation can increase relaxation, develop mindfulness, and enhance overall well-being.

Meditation involves the practice of calming the mind and enhancing your senses for improved awareness of an object of focus, usually one’s breathing process. By implementing a series of breathing exercises, the mind and body experience relief from stress and anxiety.

Here are the Facts:

Meditation can reduce insomnia by 50% if you are struggling to get a good night’s rest.
Practicing meditation for only four days can increase your attention span.
Meditation for 6-9 months can reduce anxiety levels.
People who meditate are less likely to suffer from heart disease
Mindfulness meditation relieves back pain by 30%
It lowers blood pressure for 80% of people who practice,
60% of people who practice meditation find that it improves their energy
50% of meditators say it aids in their memory and focus.
Meditation reduces depression relapses by 12%
Mindfulness improves focus and productivity (by up to 120%!), as well as critical thinking and creativity.

If you are just starting out, I recommend you meditate for anywhere from 5-10 minutes a day. You can start with even less. Maybe try it for 1 minute in the morning when you can sit still and relax for that long, then move it to two minutes. This practice should be pleasant and enjoyable, not uncomfortable. Frequency is more important than duration. Maybe 30 minutes total could be an end goal—broken up into two or three sessions during the day. This will take time to develop for most because of our busy lives.

Be clear about the time you will carve out and where you will sit, relatively undisturbed, because it will take discipline and perseverance to make a habit stick. Honor the routine of “same time, same place” to help build your meditation practice. Sit anyway you like, but sitting forward towards the front of your chair will help with the correct posture; back straight, neck relaxed, chin slightly tucked in with your hands loosely on your lap or knees. Be clear about why you want to start meditation and it will help you stick with it. Do you want to feel happier, calmer, more focused, less stressed etc.? There are many online helps for people just starting out with meditation so take a deep breath, get out there—or rather in there—and give it a try! What do you have to lose?

Photo by Sumit Bisht on Unsplash

What Time Is For

By Esperanza DeLa Luz

“Motherhood is not a hobby; it is a calling. It is not something you do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for.”

Rachel Jankovic

I always wanted to be a mother. I actually wanted to have a dozen children like in the book “Cheaper by the Dozen” by Frank Gilbraith. There were eight kids in my parents’ family and, to this day, I consider those seven siblings some of the best presents my parents ever gave me. I am blessed to have seven people who are so loyal that I can count on them for any necessity, and now I will never find myself helpless and stranded.

But I am the oldest child. At one point in my life, in my first marriage, it seemed possible that I would find myself a divorced single mother. My babies were 2 years old and six months old. I was looking at having to support myself, and basically being gone so much that someone else would be raising my babies. I could not imagine how I could bear to do that. Because I had seven younger siblings still at home, living in my parent’s home other than temporarily was not an option at that time, and I was devastated. Fortunately, it did not happen, and we worked things out, for the most part. But I still remember the gut-clenching fear I had then.

Part of this was that I had not prepared myself to have any kind of decent paying job, had not finished college, and was not confident that I could even provide for myself, much less two children. I had only ever prepared myself to be a mother. I felt then, and still feel that this is the most important and most rewarding career a woman could ever have. But I also feel that in this present world, a woman who has no options in the event of a death, divorce, or abandonment, has to make terrible choices…

As a mother, then, I encouraged my daughters to at least get enough schooling completed that they did not have to let fear of not being able to provide for themselves convince them to stay in a situation which was dangerous or unhealthy for them or their children. Having a backup career option is just good preparation for motherhood. But I still believe that this preparation should be secondary to the most important work of all.

It is easy for a working mother to fall into the trap of putting the demanding boss, the interesting job, the extra income, as such a high priority, that she delays or limits her opportunities to be a mother. Mothering will always be the highest and holiest calling a woman can pursue. Of course, it may be necessary for survival or just personal sanity to have outside employment. I am not in any way demeaning the choices of those mothers who also work outside the home. There are many women who work and parent successfully. I am constantly amazed at, in awe of, frankly, women who successfully do that.

But I do believe that of the two jobs, mothering is the one that matters. Years from now, it is unlikely that your other job will affect the world anywhere near as much as the job you are doing at home as a mother. So keep on doing what you do and remember it is SO valuable.

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

The Natural State of Motherhood

Here is a funny story: Back before you could buy fast food with a credit card, I found myself with three hungry kids and too many hours before we could go home. So, I made a quick stop at McDonalds and, with the couple of dollars cash I had, I got a burger and a large fries to split among the kids, knowing I could make it the next few hours without this snack. As I divided the burger into 3 parts and doled a third of the fries to each child, a man walked by our table and made some assumptions. He promptly went and bought four burgers and gave them to us.

I assured him that we had plenty of money, just not in cash, and it would only be a few hours before we could eat at home. He would not be deterred, though, so thanks to his kindness we had a full lunch. To this day, I think he really believes that I was lying to save face.

Because it is so common for mothers to make sacrifices for their children, that man assumed that I was one of those wonderful mothers who goes without food so that her kids can eat. Well, I have never been in a situation where there wasn’t enough food, except very temporarily, but I hope that if I were, I would be able to do as so many mothers in the past have done: survive on minimal rations in order that their children would have enough food.

Every mother makes sacrifices for her children, and many are not visible sacrifices: sleep, peace of mind, time alone, cooking dinner with one child on the hip and another dragging at her clothing, convincing sick children to take their medicine, cleaning wounds, combing tangles, and more and more.

We do these things for two reasons: because we love them enough to sacrifice our own comfort for them, and because we know that sometimes we must do things for our children that are hard, because we love them more than we desire them to be happy with us.

Someone once said a similar thing about God: He’s more interested in our growth than in our comfort. And He’s willing to take the “blame” when we aren’t happy with the circumstances that are intended to result in our growth. As moms, we model this divine structure with our children in two ways: accepting God’s will for us even if it’s harder than we want it to be, and interacting with our children in ways that, in the long run, are for the best but, in the short-term, aren’t “fun.” And that is a sacrifice of its own kind.

“The natural state of motherhood is unselfishness. When you become a mother, you are no longer the center of your own universe. You relinquish that position to your children.” Jessica Lange

Photo by Tanaphong Toochinda on Unsplash

Fun Action Songs All Kids Should Know

By Samantha Allred

Fun Action Songs to Teach Your Toddler

These fun songs for toddlers and young kids are not only great for using up some of their extra energy, but they also teach coordination skills and help with language development. These are great songs to use on a rainy day or during the cold months of the year when kids are typically stuck indoors, but they would also be a great addition to your daily routine.

1. Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes – This is a classic song to teach your kids the basic body parts. After your kids learn the lyrics and actions, you can teach them to do the song really fast, really slow, or any other alternatives you can think of.

2. If You’re Happy and You Know It – This song will encourage kids to get creative and get moving. You can replace clapping your hands with different actions such as stomp your feet, blink your eyes, turn around, shout hooray, etc. Encourage the kids to come up with their own actions too!

3. Wheels on the Bus – We couldn’t make this list without including this song, which even toddlers can pick up on from a young age. This is a very popular song in our house that we sing at nearly every diaper change to distract our wiggly toddler.

4. Five Little Monkeys – Even if jumping on the bed is against the rules, this is a great song to help with gross motor development and getting wiggles out through lots of jumping. It also is a great tool to teach about numbers and counting.

5. Itsy Bitsy Spider – This simple song is short and sweet, but can help greatly with fine motor skills. Toddlers love it and can learn to mimic the simple actions.

Next time your kids need to get some wiggles out, consider teaching them some of these fun songs. When kids move to music, they are getting so much more than just exercise. They are developing coordination, balance, language, and concentration.

Photo by Taylor Gray on Unsplash

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