Personal Pursuits

Meditation

By Alana Hutchins

A familiar word with an unfamiliar feeling. Over 14% of the U.S. population, and over 5% of children, have tried meditating at one point or another, but not everyone keeps up the practice. There are many different types of meditation, but let’s assume that as a busy mother you don’t feel like you have time for any of them. In a stress- and anxiety-saturated world, it is no wonder people are looking for ways to detox their brains and regain their mental health. Meditation is not new; it is an ancient practice making a modern come back. Meditation can increase relaxation, develop mindfulness, and enhance overall well-being.

Meditation involves the practice of calming the mind and enhancing your senses for improved awareness of an object of focus, usually one’s breathing process. By implementing a series of breathing exercises, the mind and body experience relief from stress and anxiety.

Here are the Facts:

Meditation can reduce insomnia by 50% if you are struggling to get a good night’s rest.
Practicing meditation for only four days can increase your attention span.
Meditation for 6-9 months can reduce anxiety levels.
People who meditate are less likely to suffer from heart disease
Mindfulness meditation relieves back pain by 30%
It lowers blood pressure for 80% of people who practice,
60% of people who practice meditation find that it improves their energy
50% of meditators say it aids in their memory and focus.
Meditation reduces depression relapses by 12%
Mindfulness improves focus and productivity (by up to 120%!), as well as critical thinking and creativity.

If you are just starting out, I recommend you meditate for anywhere from 5-10 minutes a day. You can start with even less. Maybe try it for 1 minute in the morning when you can sit still and relax for that long, then move it to two minutes. This practice should be pleasant and enjoyable, not uncomfortable. Frequency is more important than duration. Maybe 30 minutes total could be an end goal—broken up into two or three sessions during the day. This will take time to develop for most because of our busy lives.

Be clear about the time you will carve out and where you will sit, relatively undisturbed, because it will take discipline and perseverance to make a habit stick. Honor the routine of “same time, same place” to help build your meditation practice. Sit anyway you like, but sitting forward towards the front of your chair will help with the correct posture; back straight, neck relaxed, chin slightly tucked in with your hands loosely on your lap or knees. Be clear about why you want to start meditation and it will help you stick with it. Do you want to feel happier, calmer, more focused, less stressed etc.? There are many online helps for people just starting out with meditation so take a deep breath, get out there—or rather in there—and give it a try! What do you have to lose?

Photo by Sumit Bisht on Unsplash

What Time Is For

By Esperanza DeLa Luz

“Motherhood is not a hobby; it is a calling. It is not something you do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for.”

Rachel Jankovic

I always wanted to be a mother. I actually wanted to have a dozen children like in the book “Cheaper by the Dozen” by Frank Gilbraith. There were eight kids in my parents’ family and, to this day, I consider those seven siblings some of the best presents my parents ever gave me. I am blessed to have seven people who are so loyal that I can count on them for any necessity, and now I will never find myself helpless and stranded.

But I am the oldest child. At one point in my life, in my first marriage, it seemed possible that I would find myself a divorced single mother. My babies were 2 years old and six months old. I was looking at having to support myself, and basically being gone so much that someone else would be raising my babies. I could not imagine how I could bear to do that. Because I had seven younger siblings still at home, living in my parent’s home other than temporarily was not an option at that time, and I was devastated. Fortunately, it did not happen, and we worked things out, for the most part. But I still remember the gut-clenching fear I had then.

Part of this was that I had not prepared myself to have any kind of decent paying job, had not finished college, and was not confident that I could even provide for myself, much less two children. I had only ever prepared myself to be a mother. I felt then, and still feel that this is the most important and most rewarding career a woman could ever have. But I also feel that in this present world, a woman who has no options in the event of a death, divorce, or abandonment, has to make terrible choices…

As a mother, then, I encouraged my daughters to at least get enough schooling completed that they did not have to let fear of not being able to provide for themselves convince them to stay in a situation which was dangerous or unhealthy for them or their children. Having a backup career option is just good preparation for motherhood. But I still believe that this preparation should be secondary to the most important work of all.

It is easy for a working mother to fall into the trap of putting the demanding boss, the interesting job, the extra income, as such a high priority, that she delays or limits her opportunities to be a mother. Mothering will always be the highest and holiest calling a woman can pursue. Of course, it may be necessary for survival or just personal sanity to have outside employment. I am not in any way demeaning the choices of those mothers who also work outside the home. There are many women who work and parent successfully. I am constantly amazed at, in awe of, frankly, women who successfully do that.

But I do believe that of the two jobs, mothering is the one that matters. Years from now, it is unlikely that your other job will affect the world anywhere near as much as the job you are doing at home as a mother. So keep on doing what you do and remember it is SO valuable.

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

The Natural State of Motherhood

Here is a funny story: Back before you could buy fast food with a credit card, I found myself with three hungry kids and too many hours before we could go home. So, I made a quick stop at McDonalds and, with the couple of dollars cash I had, I got a burger and a large fries to split among the kids, knowing I could make it the next few hours without this snack. As I divided the burger into 3 parts and doled a third of the fries to each child, a man walked by our table and made some assumptions. He promptly went and bought four burgers and gave them to us.

I assured him that we had plenty of money, just not in cash, and it would only be a few hours before we could eat at home. He would not be deterred, though, so thanks to his kindness we had a full lunch. To this day, I think he really believes that I was lying to save face.

Because it is so common for mothers to make sacrifices for their children, that man assumed that I was one of those wonderful mothers who goes without food so that her kids can eat. Well, I have never been in a situation where there wasn’t enough food, except very temporarily, but I hope that if I were, I would be able to do as so many mothers in the past have done: survive on minimal rations in order that their children would have enough food.

Every mother makes sacrifices for her children, and many are not visible sacrifices: sleep, peace of mind, time alone, cooking dinner with one child on the hip and another dragging at her clothing, convincing sick children to take their medicine, cleaning wounds, combing tangles, and more and more.

We do these things for two reasons: because we love them enough to sacrifice our own comfort for them, and because we know that sometimes we must do things for our children that are hard, because we love them more than we desire them to be happy with us.

Someone once said a similar thing about God: He’s more interested in our growth than in our comfort. And He’s willing to take the “blame” when we aren’t happy with the circumstances that are intended to result in our growth. As moms, we model this divine structure with our children in two ways: accepting God’s will for us even if it’s harder than we want it to be, and interacting with our children in ways that, in the long run, are for the best but, in the short-term, aren’t “fun.” And that is a sacrifice of its own kind.

“The natural state of motherhood is unselfishness. When you become a mother, you are no longer the center of your own universe. You relinquish that position to your children.” Jessica Lange

Photo by Tanaphong Toochinda on Unsplash

Fun Action Songs All Kids Should Know

By Samantha Allred

Fun Action Songs to Teach Your Toddler

These fun songs for toddlers and young kids are not only great for using up some of their extra energy, but they also teach coordination skills and help with language development. These are great songs to use on a rainy day or during the cold months of the year when kids are typically stuck indoors, but they would also be a great addition to your daily routine.

1. Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes – This is a classic song to teach your kids the basic body parts. After your kids learn the lyrics and actions, you can teach them to do the song really fast, really slow, or any other alternatives you can think of.

2. If You’re Happy and You Know It – This song will encourage kids to get creative and get moving. You can replace clapping your hands with different actions such as stomp your feet, blink your eyes, turn around, shout hooray, etc. Encourage the kids to come up with their own actions too!

3. Wheels on the Bus – We couldn’t make this list without including this song, which even toddlers can pick up on from a young age. This is a very popular song in our house that we sing at nearly every diaper change to distract our wiggly toddler.

4. Five Little Monkeys – Even if jumping on the bed is against the rules, this is a great song to help with gross motor development and getting wiggles out through lots of jumping. It also is a great tool to teach about numbers and counting.

5. Itsy Bitsy Spider – This simple song is short and sweet, but can help greatly with fine motor skills. Toddlers love it and can learn to mimic the simple actions.

Next time your kids need to get some wiggles out, consider teaching them some of these fun songs. When kids move to music, they are getting so much more than just exercise. They are developing coordination, balance, language, and concentration.

Photo by Taylor Gray on Unsplash

Magical Motivators for Mom

By Annette T. Durfee

UGH! The dishes are undone (again!), the laundry is ludicrous, and you sit defeated on the couch. You have a mile long list of things to do, but honestly, the motivation to do it just isn’t bubbling to the surface! Do you ever feel like that? I surely have. And perhaps it’s because I’ve felt like this SO often that I have developed a list of “go-tos,” or strategies to help me bite the bullet and turn miserable mayhem into a magical motivation. I thought I’d share a few that have helped me, in hopes that they will help you too!

1. Make it fun! Maybe I’m just a kid at heart, because although I know I could just power through and get the job done, a big part of me says, “why not make it fun?” This is where your creativity comes into play and the sky’s the limit, ladies! What would make this task A LOT of fun for you? Turning on the music and dancing while you go at it? (Yes, even if your children laugh at you!) Listening to a podcast while you work away? Or how about making it into a game? A few other ideas: I purposely buy my favorite scents for cleaning so I can relish the process more. And I’ve been known to let my mind wander as I work while planning a fun family frolic for the future.

2. Better with a buddy – Whether this is your husband, a child, or a really good friend, sometimes it is just easier as well as a lot more fun to tackle the work or a project with a friend in tow. While they help to shoulder the burden, you both enjoy conversation and even a few good laughs. Not only do you get something done that needs doing, but somehow, it seems less of a chore. And of course, the added bonus is that you simultaneously build a stronger relationship. When all is said and done, remember that turn around is fair play – you can offer to help them with what they need as well!

3. Set the timer – Sometimes the main problem is that I am overwhelmed. Have you been there? It just seems like there is too much to do, and where in the world do I start? So, instead of procrastinating, I tell myself, “I will only work for ten minutes at top speed, and then, if I feel like it, I can stop.” And sometimes I do just that and I honestly feel better because the task at hand is now significantly smaller and easier for the next time I have to face it. Other times, however, just rolling up my sleeves and really digging in produces momentum and my motivation soars. (Super Mom powers activate!) I find my mind actually enjoying the process and I don’t want to stop!

4. Reward yourself – I know that some people might look at this as “bribery,” but somehow, I don’t mind doing something if I know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel: What sounds inspiring to you? bubble bath? a short nap? a few minutes with a good book? Or maybe a little snuggle time with your child? Make yourself a deal you can’t refuse, then follow through with it! A word of caution: While I have to admit I “love me” some chocolate, I would suggest steering away from food as a reward (at least on a constant basis) as we all know that would be trading one problem for another. And if all else fails, remember YOUR WHY! Think of the faces of your beautiful family and what they mean to you. You are worth it! They are worth it! Therein lies a reward in and of itself!

5. Reach out – If you find that your motivation is low for extended periods don’t hesitate to reach out for help. Goodness knows we ALL need it from time to time! What might this look like for you? Are you lonely? Who could you call for a good old-fashioned chat? Do you feel overwhelmed? Could you arrange for a sitter so you can hit your list head on? And what if you feel like sitting in bed day after day for weeks? If so, there is no shame in scheduling a trip to the doctor to help rule out or treat depression. Believe me, I’ve been there and I can assure you that there is help for you. You are not alone!

No matter what strategies you decide upon, I have faith that you WILL find a way. You can do this! You are enough and that magical motivation you need is waiting just around the corner. . .

Photo by Edward Cisneros on Unsplash

Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up… No, wait, YES I CAN! AND I WILL!

Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip!

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Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.

They say that it takes 21 days to build a good habit. I have a few decades’ worth of goal-setting experience that proves that to be about right…

My experience also says that it takes less than one day to fall out of that hard-earned habit…

Just like climbing a tree: On the way up, I must carefully choose which limb to grasp, then use my muscles to pull myself. It can be a time-consuming, arduous process — but falling down from the tree can happen pretty much instantaneously with no effort at all on my part. AAAACCCKKKK!!!! Thank you, gravity.

And so the metaphor continues: there’s gravity in that more ethereal sense of our efforts to progress and improve in life. Forces that pull us down or times when we lose sight of the goal and loosen our grips, losing our footholds and then falling.

But let’s not allow gravity to win. Defeat must be seen as temporary. There’s a great song called Tubthumping that helps me stand back up and start climbing that tree again. Here’s a fun rendition sung by an acapella group that got voted off an entertainment competition show called The Sing Off.

Let’s train our brains so that when we fall, we respond by giving ourselves pep-talks (or pep songs, as the case may be!)! Can you feel these pats on the back, Mom?! No purpose is served in wallowing in the mud or being mad at ourselves. Momivate is a play on the word motivate, and we must do it for ourselves as well as for our children. How many times we fall down isn’t important as long as we stand back up

Mom, decide just one area where you’ve fallen, and make the effort to stand back up and dust yourself off today. You’ve got this! Then share if this practice elevates your mothering!

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

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