Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.

I have limited energy, Mamas, so I have to choose wisely what to spend it on. I choose to NOT waste energy on complaining about chores, ‘cuz they gotta get done so we might as well use our energy to work rather than whine. Chores aren’t a punishment! They aren’t slave labor devised to build character, as my children believe! They are simply what needs to be done as a result of something else being done first. And so I present to you…

The Parable of the Open Drawers

In our family, we like to eat. It’s a silly little thing, I know, but something about growling tummies, and boom, we’re in the brand-spankin’-clean kitchen lookin’ for somethin’ to put down the ol’ cake-hole. I don’t know if this happens in your house, but alluvasudden, the kitchen ain’t so clean anymore. So the conversation goes something like this: 

MOM: Hey, kiddos, now that we’ve eaten, let’s clean up!

KIDDOS (in unison): But Mah-ahm, we didn’t do anything wrong. We just had a snack. Don’t punish us!

Seeing the need for a demonstration, I open all the drawers in the kitchen, leaving them out. Then I try to dance through the kitchen, dramatically banging into the open drawers…

MOM: Children, chores are like closing a drawer. You close it because you opened it, and because a closed drawer clears the way for more fun.  In an area with open drawers, ya can’t have as much fun. Taking the time to close drawers …or do chores… gives you space to be free.

I see the lights go on in my oldest child’s eyes. Whew! Once I have him helping me, together we can convince the others of the cleverness of this perspective!

Moms, try Dancing among Open Drawers this week, illustrating the necessity and blessing of chores to your kiddos! Then share if this practice elevates your mothering!

Photo by Orgalux on Unsplash

Hi, I’m Regan from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.

My three-year-old’s favorite PBS show is called Dinosaur Train. Yesterday I walked in as the show was ending and Dr. Scott the Paleontologist announced that it was now time to turn off the TV, go outside, and “make your own discoveries!”

I borrowed a little of Dr. Scott’s enthusiasm and repeated the same invitation as I flicked the off button. I braced for the usual protest — “Just one more show!!!” but instead, my little guy looked at me with excitement in his eyes and said, “Yeah! Let’s go make our own discoveries!” 

Then as an afterthought, he asked, “Mom, what’s a discovery?”

“Oh, child,” I said with awe in my voice as I grabbed his pudgy little hands, as we walked to the back door. “Discovery is looking around with eyes wide open. You see things you’ve already seen AND you notice brand new things. Then… Then…”

I paused to build his anticipation. We sat down to put on his shoes. “Then…”

“You think and you wonder and you ask questions and you want to know and learn and — ” (using my best mysterious voice, I continued) — ” you solve mysteries and expose secrets!”

His verbal response: “Awesome” was accompanied by a non-verbal response that was even better.

He took hold of his one-year old sister’s pudgy little hand, led her out the door, and with gentle joy, showed her a lady bug.

Mom, try exemplifying enthusiasm to spark the curiosity about real life as you limit screen time today, then share if this practice elevates your mothering!

Photo by Kevin Gent on Unsplash

Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.

Is it a coincidence that mobile phones are also called CELL phones, like a JAIL CELL?! If you worry that your children are doomed to be prisoners locked in a phone-sized dungeon of potentially damaging perplexities, consider a cell phone contract. 

I first heard this concept back in 2009. JoAnn Hamilton, while reporting about the National Coalition for the Protection of Children and Families, presented a Cell Phone Safe Use Agreement. The words “Safe” and “Protection” inspired me to clip that newspaper article and, when a child of mine reaches the age of 14 and shows a certain degree of responsibility, they are allowed to purchase a cell phone and pay the monthly service fee AFTER they sign this agreement:

1. My communication will be true, helpful, and kind, NEVER rude or bullying. I will never use vulgar or sexual language, and will block anyone who uses such language with me.

2. I recognize that there is no such thing as privacy with regards to the internet. Whether I intend it or not, any of my texts, images, or posts can end up anywhere in the world, whether I know it or not.

3. I acknowledge that people can use the internet to be deceptive about themselves and their intentions. It is fully impossible to know whether the people I’m communicating with are or aren’t who they say they are. For my safety,  I will not share any personal information, including my date of birth, address, or specifics about places I frequent such as school, church or work.

4. My parents will have full access to my phone at any time, knowing all my passwords. They can read texts and see my social networking posts. I will respect their input and feedback about what I post. My parents will set up hours and places of use/non-use, such as not using it in a bedroom or bathroom, during school, etc. I will accept whatever consequences I earn, and will work to earn and keep the trust that my parents need to have in me.

Mama, if you’ve been harboring a prisoner of a cell phone, set them free through this contract! Print it out, read and discuss it together, sign it and post it where you can both refer to it often! Then share if this practice elevates your mothering!

Photo by Vitaly Gariev on Unsplash

Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.

I confess: I hate the word “chores.” I’ll bet most people do. It’s just filled with drudgery that weighs you down the moment you think it. Ugh. 

And so, in our house, we try really hard never to do chores. Instead, we take FLYLady‘s advice and we “Bless Our Home.” 

We have gone through various chore charts and systems — what I’ve figured out is, no system works unless I do! 

Yup, that’s MY job as the mom, is to execute whatever system is posted on the fridge at the moment. I have to be the one to rally the troops… 

On regular weekdays, I aim for Sloppy Success rather than Perfect Failure… got that one from Hannah Keeley).  I leave the “be thorough” expectation for Saturday’s BIG Bless Our Home.

I try to set a good example for my kiddos by whistlin’ while I work — although, really, I can’t whistle, so instead I make up silly songs about whatever chore, errr, whatever way I’m blessing the house at the moment. Imagine what kinds of silly rhymes I have to come up with for “garbage” or “dishwasher?” 

Recently, I created a parody of the Beauty and the Beast song “Be Our Guest” replacing those words with “Bless Our Home!”

Of course, there are times when I can’t bring myself to sing, maybe I’m just having a low energy day or I’m a little overwhelmed by the repetition and magnitude of the task of keeping a home even just somewhat tidy. I usually can still manage to ward off the grumpiness by turning my voice robotic. We all would love to have a robot do our chores, right?! 

Fellow Mom, are you willing to give up chores and try “Blessing Your Home” this week, maybe even singing as you go? Then share if this practice elevates your mothering!

Photo by Vitaly Gariev on Unsplash

Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.

As moms, we often notice family dynamics that aren’t necessarily positive. As moms, we often feel like we need to take charge and change up those dynamics — and if we can do so in a positive, non-threatening manner and tone, it’s easier to be patient as the dynamic generally requires time to be adjusted.

One situation we have had to work on in our family is when the kids come home from school… They’re so happy and relieved to be home, and of course, they need their hands free so they can hug me! So they drop their coat and backpack on the floor right in front of the door. Then they go about getting a snack … and the coat and backpack are left to be booby-traps, ready to trip the poor unassuming person who happens to come home next.

I decided that my kids’ brains need to be connected to their hands, so that when their hands are ready to let go of any given object, their brains send out a red alert, “Wait! Don’t let go until the item is where it belongs!!!”

Now, I tend to think that my children’s brains, although not fully-formed, really do know where things belong. However, their brains just aren’t aware of what’s happening down at the end of the arms.

So that’s when we put our hands on our heads and say in the spirit of that old folk song, “Brain bones connected to the hand bones!”

Moms, try being silly with your kids to help them learn a new habit, then share if this practice elevates your mothering!

Photo by zhenzhong liu on Unsplash